Outdoors

It's November and of course it's time to start listing the things we are thankful for. Thanksgiving is the 27th this month so that means I have to come up with a long list of stuff I'm thankful for--well, it shouldn't be hard now should it.

Let's start with thoughts that ran through my mind as I went for a run this morning.

I'm grateful for the outdoor. Living all by three years of my 45 years in the beautiful state of Washington has taught me to appreciate the colors of nature and the diversity of the outdoors. I grew up in Eastern Washington where anything green is either painted or watered. I've lived the last 24  years in Western Washington--or as I like to spell it WETTER Washington. It doesn't matter the side of the mountains, there is beauty all around.

A trail on my running route.

A little obstacle in my way. 

The fence posts of a hog's pen. 

My Truth

About a year ago I was complaining on Facebook how much I hated, dreaded actually, clothes shopping. I really hate all kinds of shopping, but that's another problem. A dear friend told me about Dressing Your Truth and even went one step further and brought a book to me. I thought how sweet of her, but really, how can this help me. I hate the shape of my body, I hate trying to put a outfit together. I just like jeans and baggy tshirts.  

I thought I would be polite and at least read the first little bit of the book because I knew she was going to be in my house for a couple hours with her teens in a few days. I started reading and the book opened my eyes. It wasn't a jolting and I'm awake but a slow opening of the curtains and letting the sun slowly creep into your room type of waking up. 

The book my friend gave me is "Discovering Your Type of Beauty" by Carol Tuttle and Carol has built a little empire around the concept that each of us has an underlying energy and if we dress that way (dress your truth)  then we will not only represent ourselves better, but we will ultimately feel better. When all of that happens we will be happier and be true to ourselves. 

Now I'm not sure I believe all that she has said as I'm still on this journey. (Funny but this doubting is very true to my nature--I'm a Type 3--as Carol describes it in her books.) But I did jump in with both feet and said, "I have nothing to loose." So in December 2013 I jumped in and bought the course. 

In February I literally emptied my closet. And I mean EMPTIED my closet. Shoes, belts, shirts, dresses, pants, you name it. If it didn't fit the Type 3 I was, then I tossed it. 

I took EIGHT large black garbage bags to a woman's shelter.

This is how many hangers are now empty.

You know, it really did feel good. I had been holding on to a lot of stuff that I hadn't worn in years and wouldn't because they didn't feel right. I know why. According to Carol wearing the wrong color, style, texture, type of clothing drains you of your energy. One of the biggest drainers for me was all the black in my closet. 

I've slowly shopped my way back to a health selection of clothing now and the transformation has been astounding, at least for me it has. I feel more energy and I feel more alive. I wear jewelry and dynamic colors. WOW!

One of the things it gave me was courage to change my body. I went to a diet clinic and got some help and shed 40 pounds--good thing I got rid of all my clothes already, now I can buy them in the correct size! 

Well, I'm still not 100% buying into the dressing your truth system, but both Jessie (she's a type 1) and I are loving what freedom DYT has given us. We love the color palette and the ability to shop for ourselves in matter of minutes. We go straight to the rack and know exactly if the item is a "10" or not! 

See if you don't agree--I'm looking HOT!

February: One of my first attempts. 

March: On the way to The Lion King

April: Learning how to do selfies--it's an art!

May: At least the mirror is clean.

June: 40 pounds lighter! happy 25th anniversary. 

July: It did take a bit to shop for this dress mostly because I wasn't sure what my size was after losing 40 pounds but mostly because all the sales racks were full of BLACK!
This is my son's wedding! I rocked it! 

Aug: Even when I'm not dressing up I rock it! I'm still a lover of jeans and a t-shirt but this time they don't make me look horrible. And this is a sad/happy day: I'm sending my son on a mission for 2 years. 

October: getting the hang of it. 

I will say there is a vast improvement in the way I look and feel and for that I'm thankful to my friend who lent me her book. I have a long ways to go on this journey, but I'm enjoying discovering who I am. 

Now just sit back and hear me roar! 

A Little Color - The View on my Run

If you know anything about me, you know that I'm now what one would call a runner. I'm averaging about 20-25 miles a week. I'd love to up that a bit, but maybe after the fall soccer season is over. 

I've grown to love where I run. The colors speak to me. The smells tell me stories and of course nature tells me I'm loved. 

Every now and again I'll post "The View on my Run."

Today's comes from the Sammamish River Trail. I did a four mile up and back from the 60 acres parking lot. I took more than one shot today as it was so gray out there.

A little color on a gray day.

Those Missionaries

I was asked by a dear friend who wasn't a member of our church what to do when she saw the missionaries in the store or just out and about. I've known this friend for many years and she is a member of another church and is very faithful in her beliefs. She also knows that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons). We share many of the same beliefs and although she is not interested in the message the Mormon missionaries have for her, she wants to be polite. 

"I don't want it to be an awkward moment between the three of us," she said. "So what do I say or do?"

So here are some things to know about Mormon missionaries. 

1. They are far from home and only have written communications with their family. So be kind to them. Don't slam the door in their face; be polite. Remember there is a heart under that white shirt or pretty blouse that beats just like yours and it is probably beating faster than yours because they are going out on a limb to share something with you they hold dear. 

2. If you have a moment, hear their message if only to allow them a moment to practice. In America we actually have foreign missionaries who are now serving from other countries so their English might not be 100% perfect so let them practice. And then be polite and thank them for sharing something from their heart. 

3. Offer a glass of water and a snack if you can or feel like it. Many times they have been riding their bikes or walking for hours and they are human and get thirsty and hungry. They have a very limited food budget and many of the local missionaries are burning more calories than they are putting in (we live in a walking and biking mission). Be kind. What if it was your son or daughter out there tonight? Wouldn't you want someone to offer them a refreshment of some sort? 

4. If they ask if there is anything they can do for you, think hard if there is something they can do. How about take out the garbage? Sweeping the front walk? These young men and women aren't just out to spread the gospel but to be of service to those whom they come in contact with. They are men and women who are strong and willing to help out. And if there is nothing physical they can do, how about spiritually? Is there someone you would like an extra prayer said for? How about asking them to pray for or with you for that loved one? They love to say prayers. 

5. If you chance meet them in the grocery store or out and about town, don't be shy. Stick out your hand and give a warm handshake.  They love warm sincere smiles. Ask them if they have written their mother? Ask them if it was a good letter. As a mother to missionaries (yes, I have two sons serving) it is very important that I hear from my sons each week. I worry when I don't get good letters. And if you need to, drop my name, "Sister Blanding told me to ask you if you wrote your mom a good letter this week." You can also ask them if they are eating well and staying healthy. 

6. Remember that those young people you meet are giving up 18-24 months of their lives to share good news with people, to serve a community where they don't reside, and are far from home. They miss their families. Treat them like they are someone's child, because they are. Treat them like men and women of God, because they are (just as you are). Treat them kindly. They aren't out to trick you or force you in any way. They are out there because they love their Heavenly Father, plain and simple! 

7. Be kind--that's all I ask. 

Elder Jason Blanding and his companion in Mexico

Tears...of Happiness

I forgot how good it feels to cry because of happiness.  I've had good news many times in my life but today, probably tops them all! It's even a little selfish good news, but for five years I've held my breath!  

I know I've talked about high fives for five years of living with cancer, but today's phone call kind of puts an exclamation point on that fact.

My favorite nurse called and said, "There were no sings of cancer cells in the samples they took, You are still cancer free."

So I posted this picture of a minion (he's so cute) on facebook and then turned around and looked at my son who is on the computer next to me and all of a sudden waves of tears fell down my face. WOW!  

I forgot how good it feels to breathe.
I forgot how good it feels not to worry.
I forgot how good it feels to live.
I forgot how good it feels to cry because of happiness.

Now, let's wipe them away and do a little happy dance!!!

I remember the day I was told I had cancer. Jessie's soccer team had practice right after my doctor's appointment. I literally went straight from the doctor's office to Marymoor Park. I didn't know what to do with my emotions so I had the girls stand in a circle, then we all turned around (backs to each other) and screamed! I remember screaming so loud that I hurt my own ears. (Boy that emotion just swept over me again!) The girls giggled and I thought to myself, "Yes, it is kind of funny a 40 year old woman screaming with a bunch of 10 year-olds." I started to giggle too. I thought "How mature" and yet, it was mature because it was natural. Just like today I want to get up and dance and scream for joy. Yes, that's very mature for a 45 year old to scream for joy, but dang it! It's been a LONG FIVE YEARS. 

Every few weeks you hold your breath that your blood work comes back "clean" and "normal". Then every six months you pray even harder that that scan was "clean". Then when they say, "We need another test" you pray even harder that it comes back "clean" and when it does......you CELEBRATE!!! Because you can breathe again.  

Tears feel good today just as they did five year ago when the those little girls gave me a hug because I asked them to right after our guttural screaming contest. Tears of happiness are just as cleansing as tears of sadness and grief. 

Since I visit a few waiting rooms....

Dear office staff at any doctor's office:

No one really wants to be in your office. We usually aren't there because we woke up that morning and decided that today we wanted to answer uncomfortable questions about out life style and habits. Nor do we have a burning desire to pee in a cup, get poked with sharp objects, cough on command, etc. We don't like the scales even when we are naked at home-- what makes you think we will like it with 20 pounds of clothing on?

May I make a few suggestions to make our visit a bit more comfortable?
Please look at our charts before you call us back. Personally I would love it if just once you remembered to call me by my "preferred" name. After all, you guys had a line in that pile of paperwork you gave me that asked what I wanted to be called. That, for starters, will go along way to making me a little less anxious about my visit. 
Hey, and think about those magazines you have out there. If the date is more than six months on a gossip magazine; toss it. That celeb has moved on and that beau is ancient history (according to the grocery store check out line). And ask yourself this question: Would I sit down and read this magazine? If the answer is no, cancel the subscription and subscribe to something else. And while your picking out some new subscriptions, take a look at who is sitting in your waiting room. A urologist office might not want to have a lot of "Fit Pregnancy" i of "Your Baby" n the waiting room. I was the youngest person in the waiting room and I technically could be a grandma and most of those waiting were of the male gender. And as my husband says, "The only magazine that is still good six months later is the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue." 

Let's talk about that pile of paperwork. Seriously, how many times do I need to fill out the same form, I was there just last week. I understand if it has been a little while since we've had the privilege of meeting, but golly, please! How about a form that says, "nothing has changed since last week". You can put that on the top of the form and we can just click it. It's kind of like filling out those forms online where there is a checked box for shipping address same as billing address.  Instead of checking all the boxes again, please just one box "same as last time" would be so nice. 

Let's talk-- I've spent a lot of time in your waiting rooms. 

Sincerely, 
DOREEN (that's my preferred name) Blanding

Great start to the day - Egg Muffins

My mom taught me the importance of breakfast. I always had oatmeal or Cream of Wheat for breakfast and HATED it. Now I LOVE it!  I love breakfast. It's one of my four favorite meals of the day. 

Today I made something so simple and yet so healthy and EASY!  Here is the final product:

My kids call them Egg Muffins.

The recipe is what ever you have in your fridge.  Here is how you make them.

Spray a muffin tin with cooking spray (you know Pam!) and then line each tin with a slice of lunch meat. Today I used two pieces of ham and it was two pieces because the pieces kept tearing. I then put in "stuff". 

Some of the stuff I used was:
Cheese (cheddar and parmesan because that was already shredded)
Bacon Bits
Shredded Zucchini  (because I have a TON!)
Tomatoes cut into small bits

After putting in the "stuff" I then put eggs. I prepare them just like you were going to scramble them. I used 8 eggs and got 12 "muffins". I put in a dash of dairy (half and half or milk) when making scrambled eggs and salt and pepper.

I topped them again with cheese--mostly to mark the ones without the cheese since I have a milk sensitive kid. 

I baked them in a 375 degree oven for about 15 minutes. I used the old toothpick method to make sure the eggs were cooked.

Some other "stuff" I bet would be good to add:
onions
peppers
salsa (drain it so it isn't soupy)
shredded carrots
shredded chicken or beef (might need to change the lunch meat slices)

And I bet topped with a bit of sour cream and chives...YUM!!

Have fun and make comments about the "stuff" you put in when you make them. 

A New Life....

Today marks a very special day. Today marks the first day of the rest of my life. Today marks a new beginning. I can breathe easier. 

Five years ago yesterday, August 27, 2009, I was told I had cancer. My doctor told me we needed to keep me alive long enough for a cure to be found. Our first mark, he told me, was five years. Well, I did it!! I made it to five years!!!

May 2010

Over the past five years I've been to hell and back a few times. Here's a little taste of what the road has been like.

Once treatment stopped on August 5, 2010 (Last day of chemo!!) I have had to had blood drawn through a port still implanted in my chest every six to eight weeks. That blood is tested. They call me within two to three days and tell me what my counts are. Often I'm told that my white count is down and that I should stay away from crowds, wash my hands often and use hand sanitizer.  For two yeas (2010-2012) I had scans every three to four years and then the doctor pushed that out to every six months.  The problem was that almost every scan showed something the doctor didn't like so I'd have a second scan or a biopsy of some kind. I had my thymus biopsied in 2011 because for three consecutive scans it showed up a little "hot". Thankfully it was nothing!! 

But these scans--boy they suck. There are a few different kinds of scans you can have done on your body. There is the MRI (I've had a few of those and I really don't like them). Those tubes are long and narrow and the scans take some time. There is the CT scan, which is usually the ones I get, but they often lead to the PET CT scan. The CT scan is pretty quick and harmless--sort of. The tube is more like a donut (not so long and narrow) and thankfully they are scanning my lower torso--most of the time--so I don't have to sick my head in the tube. They are usually very quick scans--in and out of the room in ten minutes, but it's what happens during those ten minutes that is the killer.  

First you go in fasting. Then they give you this drink. GROSS! You sit in their waiting room drinking this banana--right banana--drink; the first one very quickly and then you sip the next one over the next 30 minutes. YUM--NOT!

Then they try to find a vein for the IV, hard to do when you are dehydrated. Then they take the first set up pictures: "breath in...hold............breath normal." (Right breath normal....I know what is coming up.)  After about three scans, a total of about three minutes--seriously it is that fast--the nurse comes in and hooks up the IV contrasts. DANG that stuff burns!!!  You can feel it immediately start to burn your arm, your hands, your chest and then it goes down your legs. The worst part is that you feel like you are wetting yourself. It is an odd sensation and you feel like you are holding a flame in your hand and that someone is holding flames close to your body. It is so HOT!!! You then go back into the tube to get another set of scans. Again, "breath in...hold............breath normal." 

Now the whole time you are not supposed to move because it will screw up the before and after comparison. Easily done right, WRONG! I have a problem with the IV dye contrast that they pump into my system. I've thrown it up a couple of times and so it throws off the scans and I have to come back in a few days to do it all over again, unless the radiologist doing the scan is awesome and can get "the shot". I still waiting for that awesome radiologist. Thankfully for the last three or four scans I've been able to not throw up until after the scans are complete. 

Thankfully for the last two years these scans have come back pretty clean. In fact my last scan showed that my lymph node in my right hip (which had been enlarged the last set of scans) had actually shrunk!!! 

Now the PET CT scans. Those are the worst!!! How to described this procedure. First it starts with the doctor and scan clinic and insurance carry all getting together to decide if I need this and how much the insurance company will pay--yes, they are that expensive that you have to have pre-approval for them! Then they schedule it. You have to be on a special diet (no carbs at all--not even toothpaste!) for 12 hours and then fast for 12 hours and then you go in for the scan. Thankfully just before your visit you are to drink 16 oz of water, but don't pee!

First they have to find a vein. Now my vein, bless their little valve are so scarred from five years of being poked--and I thought leaving my port in was the ticket, but only those authorized to work on ports are able to access them and the technicians aren't! The worst experience was at a PET CT scan, the nurse took NINE pokes trying to find a vein and on the tenth try I asked him to stop. I wanted someone else. That nurse took two more. It was not fun. But once they do find a vein you are then hooked up to this special stuff they pump into your system.  Now this stuff is radioactive. Just what you want right? Let's just put poison in my body! In fact the lead box they bring it in is pretty heavy and the syringe is lead too. How comforting!

Then you can't do ANYTHING! Seriously NOTHING for 60 minutes. You can't read, you can play a game on your phone, you just have to close your eyes (seriously, close them, no eye movement either) for 60 minutes. Oh, and you have to try really hard not to go to the bathroom. Remember that banana drink from the CT scans--well you also had that on top of the 16 oz of water. That's hard. They usually let you pee just before the scan, WHEW!

Then you go in and get scanned. It is very similar to the above scanning--kind of fast and quick.  But because you have had a radioactive poison put in your body, you aren't supposed to be around pregnant people or children for the next 12 hours. "Right," says this mom of six children. Oh, and you had better not get to far away from a toilet, you're gonna need one soon and often for the next 24 hours because that stuff is coming out one way or the other.  And it burns either way. That's true for both kinds of scans. 

Thankfully we don't do PET CT scans too often. Dr. Kraemer doesn't order those unless something shows up to worry him. 

Lately my trouble has been my bladder. It started in January and just the day before my five year mark they took a third biopsy from my bladder and they hope to have the results in a couple more days. The first two biopsies showed cancer markers but they weren't too alarming. But in true fashion the tests only went so far and even though it showed cancer they couldn't pinpoint the type of cancer and there wasn't enough sample to go further in their testing. So that's why all the biopsy. But no matter what this biopsy showed--I made it to five years!! 

It hasn't been an easy five years--in fact they were pretty tough. Emotionally, physically, medically and financially they have been extremely rough. I can only hope that the next 25 years are smoother. 

...five years later.

High Five's All Around

I wish I could give you a high-five right now!  I truly do!  This month marks five years from the most horrific day of my life! It is even worse than the day I was in an auto accident (it wasn't my fault), the day my sister died, the day my father-in-law died or the day my mom died. It was August 27, 2009! It was the day Dr. Kraemer told me I had cancer. He said a bunch of other stuff but it sounded like this, "You have Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, blah, blah, blah, keep you alive until there is a cure, blah, blah, blah. There is radiation, blah, blah, blah, and chemotherapy, blah, blah, blah."  I heard "You are going to die."

That's what made it the worst day in my life!

But I made it to FIVE YEARS!!! 

Why is that significant? Because I the statists say that 31% of the people with NHL don't see five years. And I'm one of them who DOES!!! Raise the roof!! I made it!! 

So if you see me, how about a High-Five! 

Keeping it Real

I want to become a professional photographer. I really do. I've taken few classes and fiddle around with it, but right now it is just an interest. Maybe when I have more time on my hands, my camera and I will come to some understanding--or I will come to understand my camera.  In the meantime, I subscribe to blogs and belong to a few groups of photographers. I just sit back and soak it all in.  

Once such group is about editing.  Now for some reason I have a really hard time with some of the editing they do. I can understand taking things out of the back ground, after all, a truck and person have forever ruined my only good wedding photograph I have--seriously.  But the things they do just drive me bonkers!  One of the recent posts was of a wedding. The photographer wanted to "thin up" one of the "chunky" bridesmaids.  WHAT? WAIT? SERIOUSLY? Have we all drunk the kool aid? Are we making real life imitate art now?

see the truck in the background and that person. 

When I was young girl and very impressionable (you know that Junior High age when any pinch of skin meant you were 20 pounds over weight and you had to go on a soda cracker and cottage cheese diet and heaven forbid a guy look at you because he saw that giant zip that was on your nose under two jars of cover up) I learned that the photographs on the covers of my favorite magazines were touched up. WHAT? WAIT? I was SHOCKED! and then I was ANGRY!!!  See, I hate soda crackers and cottage cheese! I hated pouring bottles of cover-up foundation on my skin every day so I could have skin as smooth as Brooke Shields.  I was MAD!

To this day I have a problem with editing of photos. Hey, I've had my fat photos and I have my bad zit day photos and I have my cottage cheese leg photos.  But you know what--that's real life!  I'm not a super model. I don't take four hours and four assistants to get me ready in the morning. Instead it takes me ten minutes to get the allergy crud out of my eyes so they can open so I can see to put my contacts in.  I brush my yellow teeth and shower my body that has had six kids and will never have a smooth silky tummy because dang it--I earned those stretch marks!  I have scars on my shoulder from a surgery that repaired a worn out shoulder from playing ball and lifting kids.  And you know what, I don't think I want any one to touch the two major scars my body has. One is the port that administered the chemotherapy drugs that saved my life (and it may do so yet again) and the scar on my neck. That scar I earned because they had to do a biopsy to see if my cancer had spread. It hadn't!  

I don't mind some editing. In fact today I edited a photo that was terribly under exposed.  I pulled a photo of my son who is serving a mission in Puebla, Mexico, from off the mission's Facebook page and it was very dark. I lightened it up a bit so that you could see my son. That type of editing I don't mind. I don't even mind cropping a photo to enhance it.  

Before

After

In 2007 my sister died. (Hang with me--I'll come back to photos and editing.) Since I was the sister and my brothers all had jobs, I was commissioned to put a book together of her life for her children (she died way too young). As I put the book together I noticed a theme. She wasn't in many of the pictures once she had a family. I knew exactly why, she held the camera.  Now my sister was skinny--rail thin most of her life. The only time she was "fat" was when she was pregnant and even then she would come home in jeans a size too big. Me I wore elastic waist bands for 10 years!! So what few pictures there were of her as a mother were more precious than gold to her children. They didn't care that her hair wasn't done, she was in pajamas, or if she was "fat". They just wanted to see their mom.

I vowed then that I too would give the camera away, even on the days I didn't put make-up on, or do my hair or felt fat. I would let people take my picture. I'm so glad I did. See I have cancer, a type of cancer that has no cure, so I'm making the most of it.  When my family goes through my photos they will see lots of selfies, some even in my work out clothes. Oh, goodness they ware going to see the scars, the stretch marks and they will see the fat--they will see the REAL me!  The me they remember. I'm keeping it real! 

Forty pounds over weight, but loving life! Sweaty, Sinking and running a race. July 2013

Got some rolls! January 2014

And me forty pounds lighter through exercise and diet. July 2014

I'm keeping it REAL!

Ragnar-itis

In 2012 a friend asked me if I wanted to run Ragnar with her and her team. I just think she wanted me to come because I have a 15 passenger van--and a driver. I was a "runner" and so I thought what the heck. I ran it with her and LOVED it!  I loved it so much that when the email came that said, "Hurry sign up for 2013 Northwest Passage" I leaned over to my husband and asked him if he wanted to drive again. He said, "Heck yay!" and so we were team 14!  That was a great team. Fast, dedicated and I found some new friends. 

Of course I drank the Kool-Aid and signed up again for 2014, this time I was team #3! I brought back my core running friends and grabbed a few more for this 2014 "Will Run for Donuts" team.  I think they drank the Kool-Aid too!  We, yes, all 12 of us (well, minus one since he is a young boy--more on that later--but his mom doesn't want to pull him from school) are signing up for the Napa Valley Ragnar in 2015!  Yes, I think we bathed in the Kool-Aid! We've got Ragnar-itis and we've got it bad. 

I don't know how to explain what Ragnar is. It really doesn't sound like fun, but it is! Simply put it is 12 runners running 200 or so miles from point A to point B passing a baton (aka slap bracelet) as your teammates take turns running.  Some runners run 2.7 miles on a leg and others run almost 9.  Each team member takes three legs. My legs this year totaled 19.1 miles (I was runner 8). You do this from Friday morning until Saturday evening. Your team never stop running.  Thankfully you are in two vans so the first six runners (in van one) are running while the second six runners (in van two) are resting, eating and getting ready to run their legs.  When runners from van two take over, van one eats, sleeps (or tries to) and gets ready for their next set of runs.  Yes, sweaty, stinky people are forced to spend about 36 hours hanging out with each other.  (Baby wipes and ziplock bags are a must for each van!) 

2014 NWP Team: Will Run for Donuts

I've run marathons before (26.2 miles) but you pace yourself differently when running 26.2 miles all at once than you do when you are running a five mile run and then a 7 mile run and then a 6 mile run. Not only that, you desperately want to come in under your projected time.  There is so much pride in that accomplishment. 

This year I blew my time out of the water.  I have been tracking my time (thanks to my new Garmin) and noticed that my pace has dropped so I dropped it on the spreadsheet. I dropped my time to it to what I have been averaging on my long runs. I was running a 10:34 pace for the past four months so I thought I would put that down. Somehow I ran 8:50! What?  I'm not sure what happened, but I ran like my pants were on fire!  

My first leg was a nasty 700 foot gain over a long 5 miles. I averaged a 9:26 pace. WHAT? Where did that come from? I don't run UP HILL under ten.  Crazy good that is!

Crazy tall hill!  

My second leg was at 1:45 in the MORNING!  Now that's motivation to run fast if ever there was. It wasn't for the faint of heart.  I ran across a trail that was out over Figalgo Bay so I could hear the water lapping agains the shore--scary. Turning up my itunes didn't help because anyone coming up from behind me would scare me even more!  So I just ran faster! This leg I did with a 8:46 pace.  It was my longest run at 7.75 miles. And I got the girl at the very end for a kill! 

My last leg looked really nasty. Once again some nasty hills with no van support. I really like hearing my people cheer me on. Highway 20 through Whidbey Island just won't let vans support you.  I hit that hill and did it!  I wanted that run so bad that I chased down a few runners.  The wind was in my face while on the highway and it was loud. The cars are driving pass you at 50-60 miles an hour. Gives one a moment of thought.  As I passed the one mile to go sign, I noticed a white shirt in front of me. My legs were already toast, but I wanted one more kill, so I chased her down and just at the last moment--in front of everyone at the exchange, I KILLED HER! (That just means I passed her, there is no violence in running.)  It felt so good!!!  Again, my average pace was crazy good! How did that happen?  My pace was 8:47! 

Just about to pass the girl in the white shirt for a KILL!!

So now I have created a monster. The five ladies in van one want to stay together as a team and they even want to travel to San Francisco next September to do the Napa Valley Ragnar. (Mom of the six runner, our 14 year old hero, says he needs to stay home and go to school.) My van? They drank so much Kool Aid, they are trying to figure out a way to do it this year! Sorry team, it's full!  

Ok, so I'm drowning in the Kool Aid. I've already mapped out the Napa Valley legs (they will all change by September 2015) and I've looked up flights, rental vans, and I'm looking into hotels. I've got Ragnar-itis. I think the only cure is to run another one.  (Anyone out there in Ragnar-land who wants to take a chance on a 10 minute pace runner who just wants to come have some fun?)

What makes this so fun? Your legs are gassed. You are so tired (I think I got about two hours of sleep the whole weekend). You don't eat well (hello port-a-potty) and you smell even worse! Not only that you are with five other people who are in the same boat, I mean van.  

It's the stuff that happens when you aren't running.  The dance party on the side of the road. It's the squirt bottles that someone thanks you for. It's the chocolate covered pretzels. It's the team and friendship building that happens as you tell stories in the van. It's the people that make Ragnar so fun.  The people on your team and especially the people in your van.  That's why I pick them carefully.  

It's the daughter who runs her mom's leg because her mom's ankle is twisted. It's the husband who runs silently by his wife on a very difficult run. It's the wash cloth given to a very hot runner as she busts it up a hill. It's the butt pat from spouse. It's the water dump. It's the catch at the end of the leg. It's the cow bell. It's the tunes. It's a Ragnar!

Spraying Sandra down with squirt bottles. 
(look at those runner calves on that gal  with a cowboy hat on!)

Van two waiting for Van one to arrive. We have a treat for them!

The back of our van. Decorating your van is what you do while waiting for your runner.  We got a message on the back, "Your spray bottle rocks!"

Team "Will Run for Donuts"
Our driver (aka Steve) is begging for donuts. Maybe he should try running. 

A Pioneer Heritage

I am a Utah Pioneer Daughter. On both sides of my parents I had family who crossed the plains.  Some crossed at a great cost, others came across the plains in "comfort" of the train. Some crossed more than once. Some were the first to see the Salt Lake Valley.

I will be forever grateful to these ancestors. 

Great, Great, Great Grandma Christine and Great-Great-Great Grandpa Christian holding their oldest child, "Aunt Nettie" 

This family joined the LDS church in Norway and were immediately persecuted by their community. When they had saved enough money to send their eldest, Antoinette, they did. She traveled with a small box holding her "extra clothing" and a few items from Norway, to England to New York, then to the Mississippi River where from that point she walked the whole way across the great plains to Salt Lake City. There was one morning where her leg was hurt and a family let her ride in their wagon.

When she arrived in the Salt Lake Valley she only new a handful of English words. She is my hero. She suffered so much and yet, persevered and made a difference.   

Aunt Nettie

Her younger brother, Charles, was my Great-Great Grandpa. He was able to come to Utah about eight years later in the "comfort" of the train. 

Great-Great Grandpa Charles

I wish I had a picture of John Daniel Holladay Jr. His story is wonderful as well.  His family joined the church from Alabama and they joined the Saints in Nauvoo at the time they were building the temple. He became friends with the Prophet Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum.  

When it came time for the Saints to leave for the West, John Daniel, Jr. was part of the advanced party that scouted out the route and was with Brigham Young on that great day when Brigham saw the Salt Lake Valley and proclaimed "This is the Place, drive on." 

John Daniel, Jr. then traveled many times between Utah and Illinois helping company after company of Saints come west. It was in one of these trips that he found his wife. His future father-in-law asked him to drive the wagon with his daughter in it and a friendship and eventually a courtship happened.  

Oh, how I love these family members who walked the hard road and sacrificed so much for me and my family.  

And this is just my mom and dad's part of the family back in 2008. Many more have joined our family. 

Twenty Five Years Later....

I remember our first date as if it was yesterday, well, almost. It was a very cold January Sunday evening in Provo, Utah and my roommate wanted to go to a fireside at the Provo Tabernacle but we didn't have a car. She knew I was friends with Steve and asked me to ask him if he was going and if we could hitch a ride. He said yes so we went with him. That was that, or so I thought. 

See I didn't go to BYU to get a man, I went to get an education. I had my WHOLE life mapped out and it didn't involve a upperclassman from California at all.  I was still a freshman with lots of ambition and ideas about what I wanted to do with my life. 

I didn't get to college the normal way. I did go to high school and graduated, but I didn't goof off that summer between graduation and college. I did something a little unorthodox, I went straight to college. I graduated the first weekend of June and by the last week of June I was living in my own apartment (Glenwood), going to school and trying to get a job. I had to work and I knew I would have better luck getting a job if I was in school during the summer term. I was right and I landed a job. 

But going during the summer and moving into an apartment wasn't what a typical freshman did. But then again I really wasn't the typical freshman. I wasn't the typical anything. I have always walked to a different drum beat. So when Steve met me earlier that school year he had no idea I was as young as I was. 

Well, one date led to another and eventually I did what all good girls who don't want to get married do, I told him to take a hike. WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE! 

I finally wised up and he was so kind to take me back and then in March (yes, that's how fast things went) we started talking marriage. I think he was in love with me before he found out I was still a teenager. Remember how I didn't do things that the typical freshman did? Well, that had him all confused. I didn't live in the dorms, I was serious about school, had a job, came in the middle of June and I guess he thought I was an upperclassman. Oh, well. He fell in love with me. I feel in love with him. He asked me to marry him. I said Yes and June 30th we were married.

Now twenty-five years later we are still wondering what the heck happened back in the spring and summer of 1989 that made both of us start this journey together. I'm not sure, but I'm sure glad he did it with me.  

We have gone through a lot in our life. Most of the stuff has been my stuff so I really think the bigger thanks needs to be given by me to him. He has supported me through infertility (I know hard to believe with six kids), a horrible car accident and now cancer. He's let me do some pretty weird things. I've started businesses (none really took off, but they kept me busy). Run a non-profit organization and sink a huge amount of his money into it with only a negative return. He let me host homeschool conferences at a dear cost to him. He even allowed me homeschool all my children. I still don't believe he thinks it was best for all of us, but he allowed me to do it anyway. See what I mean by I think I owe him a HUGE amount of thanks.  

So here's to Steve for taking a chance on such a young thing--a young thing who had so much growing up left to do.
So here's to Steve for loving me despite of all my flaws and for all the trouble I've brought to his life.
So here's to Steve for his devotion, support and love.

And here's to twenty-five more. 

What Gethsemane means to me

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
Alma 7:11-12
This promise got me through chemo treatments. 

She was a master teacher

When my mom died a in 2008 she left a set of well worn and used scriptures. The six surviving children had a problem. How do you share these wonderful treasures of truth and insight? We decided that every General Conference we would pass them along to the next member of the family. It's my turn!!! YAY!!

I can not express to you my happiness, my joy, my elation at getting these. They are FULL of her hand written notes.  She taught seminary for many, many years. (I think close to 19!) I know that six months will not give me enough time to go through all five books. There is just too much stuff!  But there will be things I wish to share from time to time.  

Today I wish to share a hand written message she wrote in the margins to D&C 6:20 "...Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love."  Here is her note: "God often depends on man to answer prayers; be messengers of love and hope." 
 

These hands have been many people's answers. 

Technical difficulties

I try ever so desperately to keep a blog going. But my best laid plans always go sideways. I'm often writing posts in my mind or I'll make a note to blog out this and that, but they never make it to the computer.  Then just when I want to I have technical difficulties. OK, it is most often user error, but I grow tired of learning something and then they change things on me.  

It doesn't matter what--I'm claiming technical difficulties!  But I would like to start blogging again even if no one reads.

So wish me luck!