Those Missionaries

I was asked by a dear friend who wasn't a member of our church what to do when she saw the missionaries in the store or just out and about. I've known this friend for many years and she is a member of another church and is very faithful in her beliefs. She also knows that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons). We share many of the same beliefs and although she is not interested in the message the Mormon missionaries have for her, she wants to be polite. 

"I don't want it to be an awkward moment between the three of us," she said. "So what do I say or do?"

So here are some things to know about Mormon missionaries. 

1. They are far from home and only have written communications with their family. So be kind to them. Don't slam the door in their face; be polite. Remember there is a heart under that white shirt or pretty blouse that beats just like yours and it is probably beating faster than yours because they are going out on a limb to share something with you they hold dear. 

2. If you have a moment, hear their message if only to allow them a moment to practice. In America we actually have foreign missionaries who are now serving from other countries so their English might not be 100% perfect so let them practice. And then be polite and thank them for sharing something from their heart. 

3. Offer a glass of water and a snack if you can or feel like it. Many times they have been riding their bikes or walking for hours and they are human and get thirsty and hungry. They have a very limited food budget and many of the local missionaries are burning more calories than they are putting in (we live in a walking and biking mission). Be kind. What if it was your son or daughter out there tonight? Wouldn't you want someone to offer them a refreshment of some sort? 

4. If they ask if there is anything they can do for you, think hard if there is something they can do. How about take out the garbage? Sweeping the front walk? These young men and women aren't just out to spread the gospel but to be of service to those whom they come in contact with. They are men and women who are strong and willing to help out. And if there is nothing physical they can do, how about spiritually? Is there someone you would like an extra prayer said for? How about asking them to pray for or with you for that loved one? They love to say prayers. 

5. If you chance meet them in the grocery store or out and about town, don't be shy. Stick out your hand and give a warm handshake.  They love warm sincere smiles. Ask them if they have written their mother? Ask them if it was a good letter. As a mother to missionaries (yes, I have two sons serving) it is very important that I hear from my sons each week. I worry when I don't get good letters. And if you need to, drop my name, "Sister Blanding told me to ask you if you wrote your mom a good letter this week." You can also ask them if they are eating well and staying healthy. 

6. Remember that those young people you meet are giving up 18-24 months of their lives to share good news with people, to serve a community where they don't reside, and are far from home. They miss their families. Treat them like they are someone's child, because they are. Treat them like men and women of God, because they are (just as you are). Treat them kindly. They aren't out to trick you or force you in any way. They are out there because they love their Heavenly Father, plain and simple! 

7. Be kind--that's all I ask. 

Elder Jason Blanding and his companion in Mexico

She was a master teacher

When my mom died a in 2008 she left a set of well worn and used scriptures. The six surviving children had a problem. How do you share these wonderful treasures of truth and insight? We decided that every General Conference we would pass them along to the next member of the family. It's my turn!!! YAY!!

I can not express to you my happiness, my joy, my elation at getting these. They are FULL of her hand written notes.  She taught seminary for many, many years. (I think close to 19!) I know that six months will not give me enough time to go through all five books. There is just too much stuff!  But there will be things I wish to share from time to time.  

Today I wish to share a hand written message she wrote in the margins to D&C 6:20 "...Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love."  Here is her note: "God often depends on man to answer prayers; be messengers of love and hope." 
 

These hands have been many people's answers. 

He Hears and Answers

We all wonder if God really hears our prayers or if we are just talking in the wind. I know He answers them. We had a small personal miracle occur the other day.

My son is doing an Eagle Project at a local soccer field and he scheduled work to happen in the evening during the week.  He wanted a 5:30 start and work for a few hours each night with it ending with a big push on Saturday. This was planned for the Fourth of July week. Summer in Seattle starts July 5th. It rains and is ugly all they way until the fireworks are over, or so the tale goes in Seattle. This year was no different.

Monday, July 2nd's weather was decent. Not hot, just cloudy and pleasant.
Tuesday, July 3rd's weather was horrible. Torrential downpour. It started about 3pm and wasn't letting up.  The sky was black with no break in the clouds. While I was in my bedroom that afternoon I noticed the rain was so hard it was pouring over the gutters. There was no way we were going to get any work done in this rain. I even called my husband in tears.

Chris had contingency plans: work anyway! So we loaded the car, got down there to mud, mud and more mud and pouring rain. We set up a little rain fly and had to continually dump the little part that would fill with water.  By the time we had everything ready we were soaked. All this time I kept telling the kids to pray. It wasn't working as the rain continued to fall and fall hard.

So I gathered the children under our little fly and prayed a simple but heartfelt prayer.  I was very pointed in our requests.
1. We wanted the rain to stop when the first worker arrived.
2. We only asked that it stop for our little section of Redmond.
3. The rain could come back as soon as we were done.
4. We thanks him for the opportunity our family had to repay LWYSA with this Eagle Project.

He hears!

At 5:30 when Mark showed up, our first worker, the rain stopped.
One little patch of blue sky was over 60 acres south. The rest of the sky was gray as gray can be.
Not ONE rain dropped fell on us while we worked.
When we left at 7:30 I had to turn on my wipers in the van.

I hope my children remember this episode in our family's life for the rest of theirs. He hears and answers our prayers.​

I Know Happiness

Today I experience a mother's best dream. The world could end tonight and it wouldn't matter. Life was prefect for one brief period. No my doctor didn't announce a cure for my cancer. No my kids weren't perfectly obedient. It was better than that, I know what heaven feels like.
Today as sacrament meeting started, Jason was the loan Priest at the sacrament table. I nudged Steve and he and Kray went and sat by Jason. There were my three young men (yes, Steve is still young). Zach D was a little late coming to the meeting, but Steve waved him off.
Then Matt and Chris passed the sacrament.  So with Mike preparing it, all my Priesthood holders were involved in the sacrament.
As I sat there looking up at my three big guys and my two younger ones passing and Mike next to me, I couldn't have been happier.  I'm sure that they could have turned the lights out and no one would have notice; I was beaming that much. I heard my mom whisper to me that this is what heaven feels like.
I now know what happiness feels like.

The Wish of my Heart - part two

Last Sunday I was asked to give a talk on two of my favorite conference talks from April 2010. I haven't heard or read them all so I'm not sure these are my favorite, but this is the talk I gave. I hope you enjoy.

Recently in my personal scripture study I read the well known plea of Alma, "Oh that I were an angel and could have the wish of my heart…" His wish was to cry repentance unto all nations. It made me think about what my wish--my ONE wish--of my heart is.

As I have thought about it and the things I wish I could have, I made a list.
A slim body
A stuffed bank account
My mom
My sister
My father-in-law
Cured from cancer

All of those are great things to wish for, but it isn't the one wish I have. Even with me facing surgery in 24 hours and the start of chemotherapy in 36, my wish is the same as Lehi's. That all of my children will cling to the iron rod and that there will be no "empty chairs" (as president Eyring said) around the dinner table in heaven. As I have pondered on this and struggled with the idea that if the Lord was granting wishes this weekend--one to every one who asked--my wish would not be for healing but for a surety that all of my children will never let go of the iron rod and that it would lead them to the Holy Temple where they too will make one of the most beautiful and sacred covenants that assures them to be at our family's table in Heaven. That is the wish of my heart.

As many of you know I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma late last summer. We were hoping that a round of radiation would knock it out. But that didn’t happen. The second round didn't do it either and now we are staring the last treatment option available: chemotherapy. As I face this treatment I have to have hope. Hope in my doctors and nurses. Hope in the researchers. Hope in the treatment. I have studied what I will go through. I've learned more about cancer than I ever wanted to know. Cancer books, pamphlets and literature have filled my waking moments. I know a lot about what is about to happen to me. Because of that I have hope.

I have studied the scriptures and the Plan of Salvation and I know what is going to happen. Because of that I have hope.

In Elder Andersen's talk "The Rock of Our Redeemer" he talks about hope. He talks about how the saints in 1846 were forced in February to cross a frozen Mississippi to escape the persecution of the Illinois mobs. My family was in those companies that crossed the river and then proceeded to walk to Salt Lake. I have read their journals. It is true they were full of hope. Hope for a place to live in peace. Hope for a place where they could worship Heavenly Father and Jesus their Savior without having one eye and ear open to spot trouble lurking outside. They were full of hope. They had hope because they have built up their faith. But it wasn't faith in Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or even themselves. It was faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. They had faith that led them to hope.

"Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope."

I quote Elder Andersen:

"Hope comes from faith in Jesus Christ. He has already overcome the world and has promised that He will wipe away our tears if we will only turn to Him and believe and follow.
Some who at this very moment feel desperate or discouraged may wonder how they can possibly regain hope. If you are one of those, remember that hope comes as a result of faith. If we would build our hope, we must build our faith.
Faith in the Savior requires more than mere belief. The Apostle James taught that even the devils believe and tremble. But true faith requires work. The difference between the devils and the faithful members of this Church is not belief but work. Faith grows by keeping the commandments. We must work at keeping the commandments. From the Bible Dictionary we read that “miracles do not produce faith but strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ; in other words, faith comes by righteousness.”

"When we strive to keep the commandments of God, repenting of our sins and promising our best efforts to follow the Savior, we begin to grow in confidence that through the Atonement everything will be all right. Those feelings are confirmed by the Holy Ghost, who drives from us what our pioneer mothers and fathers called “our useless cares.” In spite of our trials, we are filled with a sense of well-being and feel to sing with them that indeed “all is well.""

And those who are righteous do indeed reap the blessings of miracles. I have witnessed and been part of many miracles.

As I have been reading the Book of Mormon recently I came upon Alma's words to the people of Gideon found in Alma 7. He testifies of the Savior and in it says this:

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Our Savior didn't just suffer in the Garden for those who had sin. The drops of blood weren't just for those who stole or murdered, no they were for you and me--those who live a relatively righteous and good life. They were for the physical pains of illness of heart ache. He did so because he who would comfort us, needed to know what it felt like to have that physical pain, that physical heart ache. Those drops were so he could "know according to the flesh how to succor" me.

Elder Andersen said:

"I speak to all who suffer, to all who mourn, to all who now face or who will yet face trials and challenges in this life. My message is to all who are worried or afraid or discouraged. My message is but an echo, a reminder of the constant comforting counsel from a loving Father to His children since the world began.

“Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”
It is now for me to use my faith and hope in my Savior to ask for that succor and those miracles and blessings that our family so needs at this time. It is through our faith that our family has hope.

Elder Oaks talked about priesthood blessings for the sick. Many of us didn't not get to hear this talk since he gave it in the Priesthood session, but I urge you to read it, it is powerful.

He talks about five parts of blessings of the sick, but I will only talk about two: Faith & The will of the Lord.
"Faith is essential for healing by the powers of heaven. The Book of Mormon even teaches that “if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them”. In a notable talk on administering to the sick, President Spencer W. Kimball said: “The need of faith is often underestimated. The ill one and the family often seem to depend wholly on the power of the priesthood and the gift of healing that they hope the administering brethren may have, whereas the greater responsibility is with him who is blessed. . . . The major element is the faith of the individual when that person is conscious and accountable. ‘Thy faith hath made thee whole’ was repeated so often by the Master that it almost became a chorus.”

As Elder Andersen taught us, it is through obedience and our righteousness that we build up our faith in Jesus Christ. And it is through that faith that we gain hope. I do not think I could walk this path that the Lord has asked me to walk without hope. It is too much to ask of anyone. There has been too much sadness and trials in my life to continue, or so the world tells me, but like Job I have faith enough to hope for better things. And if not in this life in the next. I do not want to miss it.

Aligning my will with the Lord's is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I don't know why for over 40 plus years I have fought him over this--I always lose, but I continue to question his time table. Our natural man asks the "why?" questions and our spiritual man asks the "what now?" questions of the Lord. Or better yet, they reply, "Here am I, send me." or as Nephi said, "I will go and do…"

Elder Oaks said, "As children of God, knowing of His great love and His ultimate knowledge of what is best for our eternal welfare, we trust in Him. The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and faith means trust."

I have faith. I have faith that he truly did suffer the pains of cancer, the heart break of motherhood and the heart break of losing those you love.
I have trust. I can trust that his will is the will that I need to align myself with but I must first ask to know his will.
I have hope. Hope that no matter where this journey takes me here on earth, I know where it will end in heaven. I know that I will be sitting in one of those chairs with the others in my family who have held to the Iron Rod and lived righteously and joyously here on earth. My one wish is that those whom I love so dearly, my husband and my children will be there too. I know that my sister, my mother and my father-in-law are there waiting for us to finish our earthly mission and to take our seats at the table. My one wish is that my children will hold to the Rod, taste the fruit and have their feet firmly planted on the Rock of their Redeemer.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Wish of My Heart

A very popular verse among missionaries is found in Alma 29. "Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart,"

Of course the rest of the verse is the what Alma wishes he could do: cry repentance unto every one.

But what is my one wish?

My one wish is this that my children will hold to the Iron Rod and follow it into the Temple of the Lord with a righteous mate who will make them the most happy person in the world. I know what great happiness comes when one does just that. I know what joy comes from being with the love of your life. I know great no other great joy and happiness.

We are told that if we desire something hard enough we will move heaven and earth to make it happen. That is great assuming as it is something we have control over. Of course I do not have control over my children's agency, but I truly desire that they all be in attendance in heaven. I do not want one of them to be missing.

If that is my true one wish of my heart then I will do what I need to do. I will continue to do as Elder Bednar says and be consistent with family scripture study and family home evening. I will be consistent with not allowing filth and ugliness in my home. I will set guards around to keep the evil out. I will move heaven and earth for my one wish.

Oh, that I were an angel and could have the wish of my heart. I truly wish that my children will never release the Iron Rod and that it will take them to the Temple so that the chain may be lengthened and strengthened. I truly wish that the sealing power of heaven will bind this family forever.

Alma 7--all about Empathy

For the past 10-12 years (can't remember what baby was born when it started) the Relief Society in the ward I belonged to started something so wonderful. It is called "Women's Study Group". It is a simple Sunday School type class held every Wednesday morning during the school year. We take our time since we have no syllabus to follow. We took a year to do the Gospels. A year to do Paul's writings. We took a year to do Isaiah and it looks like it will take us three years to do the Book of Mormon.

We have spent the majority of this year in Mosiah and Alma. It truly has been a blessing to me. With all the things that I have to do, this has made studying the scriptures more meaningful and insightful. I would like to spend a few posts on what I have learned while studying. Mostly it is just my scattered brain thinking but I find by putting them in print I cement them in my mind.

As you know I have been battling cancer since the summer of 2009. It is a constantly moving and changing treatment plan and every day brings for new trials and challenges. Today I'm waiting on a new diagnosis as it might not be Lymphoma after all. I can not tell you how emotionally hard this has been to deal with. Some days I feel like I'm doing this all by myself and no one understands what I'm going through. I know I now have a better appreciation for all cancer patients and their families. I now have empathy. Which brings me to my discovery.

When I was a little girl I had heard and of course read that Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, suffered for our sins and our afflictions. I really didn't understand that fully (and doubt I still do) but now have a better grasp into a new favorite verse of mine.

Alma is talking to the people of Gideon and is prophesying about Christ and his role while here on earth. He talks about his birth and then it talks about how he will "go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people." (verse 11)
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

I can not tell you how much these two verses give me comfort. I have often wonder if he knew what pains--physical and emotional pains--I bare. He does and it says he knows this so he can know how to succor his people. The word succor means "help, relief, aid or assistance".

I can't count the times I have been asked, "What can I do?" I don't know. Physically right now there is nothing to do. Emotionally I need a soft shoulder, a listening ear and an unjudging heart.

That is what my Savior gives me. A soft shoulder, a listening ear and a unjudging heart. I just need to remember to turn to him daily for my succor.

He knows "according to the flesh" my sufferings, pains and my afflictions. He, only He knows. That is true empathy.

My Rocks!

I've been thinking a lot about rocks these past few days. Somehow I need to make sense of all the metaphors and images of rocks I've been thinking about. Please bare with me as I share my scatterbrained ideas.

It seems like any self-help book on how to prioritize or organize your life talks about the parable of putting stuff into a jar. The author uses different words, but it amounts to the same thing.

Imagine a pile of rocks, another pile of stone, a pile of pebbles, a pile of sand and a cup of water. Next to these piles is a glass mason jar and you have to fit them all in. How do you do it?

This may not be obvious to the person who is reading this for the first time, but for those of us who are constantly reading books like this, it is simple. Put the big rocks in, then the stone, then the pebbles, then the sand and then the water. You can get much more in if you start with the big stuff. Don't believe me; try it.

This is just like in life. When we put our things in piles of importance and then try to stuff them into the jar they will all fit if we put them in the right order. But the trick it knowing what is big. It is easy to see a rock is bigger than a stone or pebble. But it isn't easy to see that family dinner is bigger than son's soccer practice. This is where it gets complicated and worse yet, NO ONE can tell YOU what your big rocks are or what may be your pebbles. And even more complicated is that every morning you will find the same jar empty and the same piles sitting next to it ready for you to load up for the day. But guess what happened during the night--all the labels you put on those rocks, stone, pebbles, etc., slid off and you have to reattach the labels today!

Here is something else I've been thinking about rocks. We were reading in Matthew about how the wise man built his house upon a rock and the foolish man built it upon the sand. Of course the obvious interpretation of that scripture is building your house of faith upon the rock--meaning the Savior. But what about building your mental house upon the rock? My mental state has a better day when I build my house upon a rock, upon the steady things of life. There are a few rocks that the labels have been etched in stone (pun intended). Scriptures study and prayer are HUGE rocks and they go first. Faithfulness in my marriage is one that it think is so huge that it doesn't even fit through the mouth of the jar anymore--it is in there permanently. (If only a few other character faults of mine were corrected and then grew to big to fit through the mouth of the jar I wouldn't have to put them back in every morning and prioritize them.) What rocks do we build our life on? What are our big rocks? Do they change with the seasons of our life?

Recently I had a friend ask me if she was putting her business in front of her family? She was having a day of weakness as someone had rattled her cage. I wanted her to know that she had her rocks so well prioritized that her family always came first--no question about it. Her family runs well, not that there aren't hiccoughs along the way but her priorities are so well placed that she can deal with them with grace and ease: almost so no one even notices that there was a hiccough.

I'm not sure I dealt well with the rocks, stone, pebbles , sand and water in my life very well in the past few months. I've let a few things rock my foundation (yes, that pun was intended). Those who know me well know of the most earth shaking: the passing of my sister (August 2007), my nephew's daughter (February 2008) and my beloved mother (July 2008). Now, don't go thinking my faith has been shaken--FAR FROM IT! But my mental and emotional foundation got a little unstable there for a day, week, month or even a year or more.

On top of that add physical pain from my auto accident in 2002 (still dealing with muscle stiffness) and then a rotator cuff surgery in July (yes I did have surgery right after my mother passed away). I have been lazy trying to repair myself and recoup what physical and mental state I use to have.

The stuff I would label water has been sneaking in first. OK, it doesn't sneak in, I pour it in.

So let's set this house back on its firm foundation with the big rocks planted firmly in the corner and holding up the building.

Big rocks:

Family (sometimes I have to put individual names on the rocks)

Church/Religion (scripture reading, prayer)

Education (mine and my children's)

Stones:

Business (Heritage Makers--I'm going to make it pay eventually)

Recreation (self)

Health (gym workout and sleep--I should add eating, but then I might eat even more!)

Housework (I HAVE to put this here, although I would like to put it in the water section--especially if it has anything to do with cooking)

Pebbles:

My "for fun" reading (I could read a good book all day long and be totally content)

Gardening (I wish I could move this up, but it needs to stay here until I can move a stone down here)

Sand:

I'm not even sure I have room for sand ~smile~

Water:

TV and movie watching (I love to sit and watch movies with my husband and do so every night, but boy, it truly needs to be the water that I add in the end).

See it all can fit--eventually!

Lessons I learned from my deck

My wonderful family has owned three homes and has built four decks.

A Firm Foundation

Our family has a tendency to buy a home and then build a new deck shortly after we move in. We bought our first house and promptly tore down the 3x3 "deck" and build a beautiful 900 square foot deck. Ok, we hired a friend to build the deck, but we were involved in building the deck. Soon after that we sold that house and moved into a new house. With in a couple of years we build a new deck. This time because it was a second story deck we left this to professionals, not only because it was above a garage but also because it was part of a major remodel of our home.

Three years later we are again pulling down a deck and putting up another deck. This deck, the main one off the back of the house, was in desperate need of a new top. The builder of the home, but on shoddy decking. As we pulled the decking off, we found the foundation to be strong, firm and well constructed. This was in stark contrast to the decking we pulled off. Our children, old enough to help now, got into the act of pulling the decking off and hauling it over to a pile of garbage. We added to the foundation and with the help of a friend (he had the tools and the contractor discount) build a marvelous deck.

Well, we find ourselves in a new home with a deck that on the surface looked wonderful. It was pleasing to the eye. It even had a hot tub on it. When we had the home inspected we found that what was pleasing to the eye wasn't necessarily structurally sound. The gentleman who built the deck didn't use proper tools or proper engineering techniques. We knew then that the deck would have to come down.

This summer it is our project to take down and rebuild a deck that is not only pleasing to the eye, but also structurally sound. This is hard work. For a little over a week, the boys (two now in their teens) and I have been taking hammer, saw and muscle to the deck to pull it apart. I should add that unlike the other decks we have built, this one proves to be a bit more challenging. It is (or was) a three tier deck with the top deck attached one floor above the ground. It also has a hot tub which required a tender touch. To complicate matters even more, the deck's edge also hangs over a rock wall that goes down another 10 feet, so at one part of the deck you are some 20 feet into the air. But, what really scares a mother is that as we took this deck apart we saw what truly poor engineering went into the construction.

At one point in tearing down the railings, my son swung his hammer up to knock the top rail off and the whole corner post just snapped off. As we examined the 4x4 post we realized that the previous homeowner had cut off a huge 3x3 chunk of the post off and just used finishing nails to hold the post onto the deck. After swallowing hard and making sure my son was still firmly standing on the deck, I made a mental note of thanking Heavenly Father for keeping that son on the deck and my family from not knocking that railing off though out the year that we have owned this house.

As the days progressed and the deck came down piece by piece I couldn’t help but think of the many decks we have built as a family and how this all relates to two very important aspects of my life.

The first aspect if that of the gospel. In the first house there was nothing to pull down so we built something from the ground up, and left it to professionals to do. Much like when we are first learning the gospel, we build from the ground up with a firm foundation. If it is done well with all the professionals working together you have a thing of beauty and usefulness. The second deck was much like the first. That third deck, had a firm foundation, but it just needed to have a new decking and while we were at it, we added to the foundation and built a bigger and more useful deck. I see this as those wonderful teen years. We have a firm foundation, but sometimes our decking is lacking a little. By removing the decking and replacing it we make something wonderful and beautiful, sometimes we even add a little more to the foundation to make it more useful; just like when I got married.

Now this last deck, unfortunately is like many people in and out of the church. The deck is pretty to the eye, but when you inspect it you see many shaky posts, cracked foundation, post only held on by finishing nails instead of galvanized nails or deck screws. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to tear it down and even more to build from the ground up. It is much easier to build correctly from the start.

The other aspect is that of education. As a homeschooling mom and someone who has a keen interest in knowledge and education, it stuck me how often we have shaky educational foundations. Shimming up the pillars that hold up our knowledge, we try desperately to act and be knowledgeable, but many times it is transparent to those who are in the educational field. Life isn't necessarily easy with a firm educational foundation, but it sure makes it much easier to add to your knowledge when the whole foundation doesn’t need to be pulled down. It is still even better when we start out with a firm foundation for our education to be built upon.

I honestly pray that my children, as well as myself, are like that first deck we built, firm foundation with the proper tools used and proper materials. Life isn't necessarily easy, but it sure does making changes and upkeep all that much more enjoyable and easier than it is to start all over and tear something shoddy down. I know because my body hurts and I'm so exhausted.

Priesthood Equals Love

Priesthood Equals Love

As I was in bed wracked with a fever, chills and pains and my husband away with two of our sons on a trip, my six year old daughter was left to play nurse maid to me. Her older three brothers left her alone to do the job since she was doing such a fine job. As I woke with her little hand on my forehead she noticed my eyes open and whispers ever so lovingly that if I wanted she would call daddy and he would fly home because he loved me. I smiled at her and told her that I could wait for his return in the next day or two and that I would be just fine. She then said, "I know where daddy keeps his love oil and I could call our home teachers."

This of course brought back a memory of just a few weeks ago when she was climbing on the counter to get to a pack of gum I had place on the top shelf. She noticed my husband's vile of consecrated oil sitting up there as well. With a smile she climbed back down, handed me the pack and slyly told me that she knew where Daddy's Love Oil was kept.

My husband returned shortly with our two sons very late the next night and as I lay in bed next to him, I couldn't help but think of "Daddy's Love Oil." My eyes filled with tears and my heart with love as my mind recalled the times when "Daddy's Love Oil" was used in our home.

Seldom to I recall who the other Priesthood holder was and I'm not sure it matters. Neither do the specific words come to mind. But I do remember the feeling of love and peace that accompany "Daddy's Love Oil." I remember the time it was used just hours after our oldest son was born. It had been a very difficult birth and he had some injuries that needed heaven's help to heal. All of our six children suffered from life threatening jaundice at birth and "daddy's love oil" was used to speed the healing process. There were other childhood illnesses and accidents that needed "Daddy's Love Oil" to be used. We had chicken pox ravage our poor babies, a knife wound, a knocked out front tooth, stitches over the eye and on the head that all were made better with "Daddy's Love Oil."

One time I do recall very vividly "Daddy's Love Oil" being used was four years ago after a very nasty auto accident. My husband and a neighbor blessed me to "be made whole in the Lord's due time." I think that was the only time I ever recall specific words to a blessing.

Sometimes "daddy's love oil" wasn't necessary as the blessing was one of comfort and peace. When the children start a new school year, when they head off to scout camp, when life has one of us beaten and we need some extra direction. When a child is blessed, baptized, confirmed, or when the Priesthood is given to a son. We don't need the "oil" part of "Daddy's Love Oil" but we do need his love.

I never recall the words spoken in one of these blessings, but I always hear my husband says a phrase that tells me it truly is "Daddy's Love Oil." "Our Heavenly Father love you, knows you and is watching over you."

Elder Hales said, "A loving Father in Heaven has sent his sons and daughters here to mortality to gain experience and to be tested. He has provided the way back to him and has given us enough spiritual light to see our way. The priesthood of God gives light to his children in this dark and troubled world. Through priesthood power we can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost to lead us to truth, testimony, and revelation. This gift is available on an equal basis to men, women, and children." (Ensign, Nov.1995).

Our Father in Heaven sent us here and gave us the Priesthood so that we could feel of His love when we need it the most. The Priesthood is truly "Daddy's Love Oil," and I thank Him for giving it to us and for a husband who is worthy to use it to bless the lives of my children and our family.

Sports on Sunday

Today I'm sitting at home while "my boys" are out playing a soccer game. I call them "my boys" because I have been there coach now for three years but my son has been on the team for six years. They truly are my boys and I love them. It is killing me being home not knowing how they are doing. I watch the clock and think of them.

Why am I not there with them? Well, I keep the Sabbath Day holy and therefore I'm not out there coaching today, the Sabbath. It pains me to no end. To make matters worth I have five other children on the team who believe in keeping the Sabbath Day holy as well, so the team is down five kids (one is mine). That means my team is down to 10 players, one short of a full team.

I was a young athlete myself and had to make the decision of playing on Sunday as well. A few times I played on the Sabbath and I didn't like it, but God didn't strike me dead. But I don't look upon those days as good days, even when we won the championship. This is a hard thing for kids to make the choice of and it is a crying shame they have to make it.

How do you tell you children to keep the Sabbath Day holy when there are role models out there breaking them and reaping great rewards. Every LDS kid I knows who has faced this will bring up the name of Steve Young, the San Francisco 49er's famous quarterback. How do you explain that to you young son. How about Dale Murphy? He was converted while in the Majors and went on to be a Mission President. What do you say to a young son in tears when he finds out his team is out of the tournament because of a loss? How about all the other many LDS athletes who play on Sunday?

I use to use the line, "but that is their job." Just like a doctor doesn't plan on working on Sunday, but I didn't plan on getting sick or injured on Sunday either. Sometimes we have to pull the mule out of the ditch. But is an athlete pulling a mule? So if it is a job, what about all those years prior to it being "their job" when they played on Sunday?

With all these thoughts running through my head my one question is, "Where are all the blessings for all the Sabbath Days my family has kept holy?" What are the blessings? My team has yet to win on Sunday.

I'm sure the blessings are there, but today with a heavy heart for "my boys" and a very hard fought game that came up one goal short, I'm not sure I see them.

Editor's note: I have a huge amount of faith that end the end we will be rewarded for our faithfulness in keeping the commandments, and I will continue to obey.

A Stop Sign Along My Route

I'm trying to speed read my way through The Book of Mormon which means no looking up footnotes, no searching and studying. I'm just trying to get through The Book of Mormon and get a since of the book and the spirit of it. I can not tell you how hard this is. I have had to stop reading them out of my hard copy of scriptures. The one that I have had since I left home; in fact they have my maiden name still one them. They aren't tattered because I have treasured them and made sure they are still in good condition BUT they are marked and loved like nothing before. This causes a problem when I'm reading. I stop and read my notes and then I get bogged down. This is only a problem because I'm trying to speed read through the Book of Mormon.

I found the solution; my PDA. It doesn’t have any of my markings and it is so portable. But I'm still having troubles. I'm stopping to make notes, and there are still the footnotes and they are so easy to get to--just touch the superscript letter and up pops a window, and as they use to say in seminary, "The chase is on." The other problem I have, is that I don't get a real study time. I am a mom of too many that my alone time is short and often far between. This year I have come up with a special little time and as long as traffic is with me I get a good 20-30 minute scripture time with no distractions.

I take Kray to seminary, run to the gym and meet him back at the building after he has gone over to a friends house while they wait for school to begin. If I get my workout done in a timely manner and traffic is not so bad, I get back to the building with about 20 minutes before he comes back.

Well, I was doing well until I hit Alma 37 (I made it through the first part of Alma). Then I ran over these verses:

34 Teach them to never be weary of good works, but to be meek and lowly in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.

35 O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.

36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

And then in the next chapter these two verses:

5 And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delievered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

12 Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness.

If you know anything about me, I'm a busy mother. I'm homeschooling six children, coaching two soccer teams, putting on monthly ward activities, teaching classes, one many non-profit boards, running conferences, talking at homeschooling support groups and just plain trying to keep my head above water. I am weary and I'm doing good works, but I enjoy it--totally. Yes, I have those days when I want to throw it all away, but I love being involved in many things, especially if they involve my children. There is no better joy than seeing your children succeed and doing good works. I try to be very meek and lowly (or as I read it as humble). I try not to do it for praise, glory or income. In fact this "good work" usually costs me. I just hope my heart is really in the right so that I may find the rest.

In verse 36 it says that we are to "cry." I can not tell you how often tears are flowing down my face as I ask for peace and rest. I don't mean to stop being busy, I just want a few things to go my way. In particular my children and their interaction with the rest of the family.

But I think chapter 38 says I'm doing too much and I'm not putting enough trust in the Lord. I'm not sure, but I sometimes think I'm not letting the Lord direct all my thoughts and actions. (OK, I know not my actions because I have a hot temper. Just ask my spouse and children.) I use boldness and overbearance. I need to get rid of the forcing my ideas. I need to bridle my passion as I have many. I think those are the things I need to work on the most.

If the scripture is true then I will be filled with love. I think that is my biggest downfall is that my actions do not say that "I love you" especially when dealing with members of my family. I have many things to repent of. In these few verses, I see these:

More heartfelt prayer

Heart in the right place in my "good works"

Slowing down (learn to say NO!)

Listen more closely to the prompting

Be bold but gentle

Bridle my passions

Be more diligent in having my actions say, "I love you" to those in my home (we will start there and branch out)

I continue to still ponder on these scriptures and see them in new light. So much for speed reading through the Book of Mormon. I know I'm going to have a hard time finishing Third Nephi as it is my favorite.

A Need for a Miracle

These words are some of the hardest for me to write. My wonderful sister who has fought a brain tumor for the past few years isn't doing to well. Her daughter just posted a desperate email on our family website asking for our prayers as her mother, my sister, is declining and in her words, "quickly." She has asked us to come and visit her.

Oh, how fragile life is.

I am praying for a miracle. It is so very hard to say, "thy will be done," in a situation like this. You spend the time on your knees begging for a miracle, a miracle that a mother of nine, wife to one, grandmother to one, sister to six and friend to many may live to see her nine year old baby married in the temple. You beg for her life and you also beg for her suffering to end. You plead for the family to have peace and comfort. You bargain, you sob and you feel helpless.

How does one face the next person who asks, "How are you?" How do you tell them your family's need and desire for your sister to be well and a family to be at peace? What do you say? What do you do?

How do I get to see her? Calling her leaves only silence on the other end. Email goes unanswered and life seems to speed ahead while standing still.

My sister is 13 years older than I am. I didn't grow up with her. In fact my first real memory of her was when she was preparing for her mission. She came home and took over my bedroom. I was just thankful that after her mission she got married really fast and left my room. Ok, so she and her husband came back and took it over and this time kicked me out. But I am glad that I got to spend those few months with her because I really never knew my sister. I found out she was a pretty neat lady. I found out she was very smart. I found out she loved the gospel. I found out that I loved her.

All the best, Nadine. I'm praying for a miracle, even if I have to say, "thy will be done," at the end of my prayers.

Malachi's Promise

Once you get to know me you will understand that the most important thing in my life is my family. In the long list of priorities behind My Heavenly Father and my testimony in the gospel is my family. Everything I do is because of these three things. I live my life for my family.

This sense of family has been with me since I was a little girl. It has stayed with me all these years. I was told in a special blessing that family history would play an important part in my life. I have always thought this to mean that I would search for those in my family who we have no record of. I have come to find out that it means something totally different. It means that family history, the STORIES from my family are important to me.

Nine year ago (I know because it was right after Matthew was born) my mother came to help out. My mom brought an orange box full of pictures from her childhood and her family. Now, I know very little about her family mostly because I was born so late in her life and her parents had passed away by my birth. I was thrilled to see these pictures. My husband sat with her at the computer and scanned them in the computer, cleaned them up and as fast as my husband's fingers could fly, he wrote while she dictated. He then compiled it all on a CD and burned one for each of my siblings and any aunt, uncle or distant relative who wanted one. I love to look at those pictures.

It was also about this time that my mom got it in her mind that she would write her memoirs and publish them for us. It is the most precious book I own. If this house would burn down I would be sorry to see it ruined. In fact I would risk my lift to retrieve at least one copy (I bought enough for my children to have one.) It has a red cover and often my kids ask to read from "Grandma's Red Book." The stories aren't going to win any awards, but it doesn't have to because they are MY stories. Stories of my people, my family.

What makes "Grandma's Red Book" (properly titled "My Legacy") is that my mother's health as of late has declined. How timely it was for her to write her memories and thoughts about her life and her family's.

Recently, I got my hands on a "blue book" that a half cousin compiled about my mother's father (my grandfather). I know very little about him because he died many years before I was born. What I did know of him was wonderful, but what I know now is more.

There is something powerful in the written word. I learned that back in 1984 while in high school. My English teacher made us write in a journal everyday (I can still feel the moan I let out the first day of school when he told us about the assignment). Today I thank that teacher. I now have a very detailed and lengthy record of my thoughts, feelings, actions and other dealings. This record, much like "Grandma's Red Book" and the "blue book" I would be remiss if something happened to it.

After my husband and I got married we wrote our first letter to our family and friends. Seventeen years later we are still sending out a monthly letter, only we do it online, called the Blanding Bugle. We have seventeen years of family stories.

Just recently I have decided to become a Heritage Makers Consultant so I can publish NOW the stories of my life and those of my children. Just like my mom's book, it won't win awards, but those books will be full of stories that mean something to my children and their children.

The first book I published was about a trip skiing we took back in January. It is full of pictures and memories that my children relive every time they pick that book up. I often catch my children reading that book. I can't wait to get the first Blanding Bugle book hot off the press! I'm sure it will become another classic at my house.

 

Come Unto Jesus

Come unto Jesus; ye heavy laden,
Careworn and fainting, by sin oppressed.
He'll safely guide you unto that haven
Where all who trust him may rest.

Today in church we sang this song and it touched my spirit today. I am very careworn and I need some rest. All I have to do is "come unto Him."

I have set myself a goal that in the six months between April's General Conference and October's I will read the Book of Mormon. I missed the challenge last year but I think I need to do it this time. I'm not making great progress, but I'm making progress.

I'll keep you posted.
Doreen

The Coffee Shop

I was so embarrassed, today while I was running errands with my 5 year old girl we stopped at the local Starbucks to get ourselves some hot chocolate. It is sort of our tradition when we go to the local craft store that is in the same parking lot. As I got out to help her out, I noticed my reflection in the very dirty van. I had a BYU shirt on! I can't walk into a coffee shop with a "Mormon" shirt on. Thankfully I had a jacket on that I could zip up. I could hold my head up as a good Mormon and go into a coffee shop.

We ordered our hot chocolates, cookie and muffin--our tradition. We sat outside in the almost sunshine sipping our chocolates and enjoying our treats. I'm so glad I had my sweatshirt even though it wasn't chilly.

Doreen

A Lesson Learned

Every Tuesday my husband goes to a game night. Since he has an online board game store I feel like this is his "job." (I tell myself that so I won't get so upset about him being gone an extra night a week. It sort of works. Please visit his store at http://housefullofgames.com/ and make me feel better about him "working" every Tuesday night.) He often invites our two oldest sons to come join him, when they have their school work done.

Tuesday are my very busy driving day. Starting at noon I spend the rest of the day driving kids to and from enrichment activities. My last pick up is at 6pm, and at that time I'm ready to go home and feed the hungry kids, not run into town and drop two kids off at game night. But this last Tuesday they begged me to take them. The boys promised to do their jobs and get their homework done the next day if I would take them. They promised to behave and be peacemakers. Well, I gave in and took them.

The next day they didn't do exactly as they promised. I should have seen it coming and not be so upset, but I was. I don't know if I said this outloud, but my mind was screaming, "You ungrateful little children. How dare you beg me and promise me and then fail to hold up your end of the bargin."

Then came Sunday, my turn to beg for something. I was fasting and praying for a miracle to happen in my life. I had a very important and scary surgery coming up and I wanted a miracle to happen. As my alarm went off that beautiful Sunday morning, I hit the snooze button and went back to my dream. In that state between sleep and awake I was thinking about what I was fasting and praying for and looking ahead to the week. As I was thinking the alarm went off again. I couldn't hit the snooze button again as I had a meeting I needed to get to. I climbed into the warm shower and my words came back to haunt me. "You ungrateful child. How dare you ask me for a miracle when you don't say thank you for the things I do for you." I was humbled.

I am deeply thankful for the things that I have been given both material, mentally and spiritually. I am not an ungrateful child, at least not now. I honestly don't care if my miracle happens--at least the one I was praying for, because my miracle did happen; I learned my lesson.

Doreen