Any Fall Saturday

Since September of 1998, every September Saturday has been spent at the soccer pitch. Every one except for one October in 2010 when both Chris and Jessie had a bye on the same weekend. Every one of my September Saturdays has been taken up by soccer. My October Saturdays and most of my November Saturdays too. But not anymore. 

Our first soccer player. Kray, 1998

Today there isn't a game listed on the calendar. There is no game to watch, no game to referee, no game to coach. The kids don't have new soccer cleats, clean uniforms or stinky old shin guards to put on today. 

WOW! This is a crazy new place for me. 

Oh those foggy morning at Marymoor park. 

Yes, I miss it. I miss the kids. I miss the excitement as my stomach does a gymnastics tumbling routine. I miss the countless emails from parents (and players) who are lost and can't find the field. I miss the detailed calendar flow-chart I'd make so all six kids got to where they needed to be at the right time. I miss coaching three kids in one season (2009). I miss the interaction with the kids most of all. I miss seeing smiles from someone who just accomplished something pretty cool. I miss the giggles from the girls and the I'm-too-cool fist bumps from the boys. 

I don't miss the mud (ok, just a little). And I really don't miss the parents questioning my coaching, and refereeing decisions.

Last Saturday we woke to a foggy cool morning and both Jessie and I looked at each other and said, "I miss it." 

Please enjoy my walk through memory lane:

And this game was on the good grass at Marymoor. This is Jason, 2001

We started them early. Chris and Matt 2001

Mike, 2002

It's always been a family affair, 2002. In fact that little girl Jessie was just a week or two old when she went to her first soccer game.

We've had some great coaches, Jason, 2004

Matt, 2004

And I started head coaching in 2004. Mike's team: Earthquake. We were really good! 

Sometimes our uniforms were more like dresses. Chris, 2005

And I always had the cutiest soccer players, Jessie, 2005

Sometimes we smile when we score, Matt, 2005

We played close, Chris, 2006

I had to turn my head when they played goalie: Jason, 2006

We sat and waited for our turn to play. #6, Jason, 2006

Soccer is about fun, Jessie, 2006

Sometimes we look like the professionals, Matt, 2006

We always have the best fans! Matt & Grandma, 2006

Scoring feels good, Matt, 2007

Second place sometimes hurts, Mike, 2007

It was always a fun time at Marymoor. 2007

Our financial backer, Steve, 2007

Earning big bucks, Jason, 2008

Soccer was all about the treats and friends, Jessie, 2008

It was an honor to center a tournament game, Kray, 2008

And Champion soccer is always dirty, Chris, 2009

And Champions are Champions! Chris and I, 2009

Chris doing a trick shot, 2009

Even when they are big they play. Kray 2009

I love this photo!

How exactly do you score an Olympico goal again? This wasn't the celebration for it, but Chris did score directly off a corner kick. This celebration is happening because he scored off a backwards kick at the top of the box. Chris, 2010.

Soccer kept me sane through cancer treatments, 2010

Probably the best team I ever coached. Chris, 2011

Those foggy mornings, 2012

Jessie 2012. Probably the best girls team I coached. We went to state and took 8th place. 

Chris putting on the stripes in 2013

Conferring with Coaches Clock, the app Steve wrote just for me, 2013

2013, A ref since 2005, I finally put on the stripes and refereed a game or two. 

In 2013, Kray officially joined me in the coaching ranks. He had coached on and off since he was 14. It was nice to have him on the sidelines. He has the same passion and conviction I have.

#6 her entire career, Jessie scores in 2013.

2013 Matt puts on the stripes as well. 

Coaching staff 2014, Bryne, Kray and me. 

Jessie 2014

I'm intense, 2014

The muddiest game I ever coached, watched or played in. Jessie 2014

Jessie 2014. We won the game--defeating an undefeated team! 

Fall, soccer, daughter, awe... 2014

2014 Jessie & Chelsey. Soccer Buddies!

2014...the end.

Glimpses into my Children's mind

At the start of each school day I give my kids a two minute writing assignment. It is a short and sweet thing to get our day started. Here are some examples (I left the spelling):

"My favorite sport is soccer because I love it and my coach is my butiful, lovely mother."

"My favorite person is God because he loves us and he made this world for us."

"My good wish for your race is: FINISH!"

"The thing that makes me sad is canser because it took my mom's butiful hair and my mom; we can't play with her."

"Something that meas me happy is candy because it's sweet and tasty."

"If I could have one wish it'd be that Mom didn't have cancer, but, I can't, so I'll just settle for mom winning the race, Go Mom!"

"My favorite job is "table" because it's easy and I get to ask "What's for dinner?" without getting in trouble."

"Something that makes me sad is rain, because it's here when the sky is gray and it's wet."

"A good wish for my mom's race is to finish with dignaty"

"Yesterday was great because I had fun with a nerf gun and made a new friend."

"Good wishes for my mom's race is that she will last through the race."

"Something that makes me sad is losing a soccor game. I hat losing; it makes me feel bad and sad and that is my fault."

Golly, I just love my kids!

I'm So Proud of You Son

I don't get it. You want your special needs child to be treated normally and yet when they are and it doesn't go well you get angry.

That is what I wanted to say to someone who I encountered the other day. Let me set the stage for you. I will change the names to protect them.

A friend and I had wanted to put together some organized activities for our homeschooled kids. They are at the age where friends really start to matter and they just aren't getting that need met through church and other activities. We decided to start a Friday Fun Club. We do fun activities on Friday. My house is pretty big and pretty centrally located so my house is "it". On the third Friday we do a "parent led activity" and since it was going to be our first, I said I would lead out. I had a terrific activity planned--we were going to make pizzas and I was going to talk about Italy. Not because I love Italy, but because I love my homemade pizza and don't make it enough and it is pretty easy for kids to make. Then the day before I was in the MRI tube and while trying desperately to calm my racing heart and distract my mind from the fact that I was in a MRI machine yet again, I started thinking about the test that I should be making for my kids since we were coming to the end of our massive unit on the Human Body.

As I was thinking over all the experiments we had done, it hit me: these were perfect things for my kids to demonstrate and do with this bunch of kids coming over. Now most of the kids coming were going to be younger than my youngest so my kids would make great teachers. And there is no better way to learn than to teach something. I came home and presented this new idea to my kids. They were so excited (WHEW!). We went through the experiments we had done and they each picked a few they wanted to develop into a station. Time was against us, but we busted our bums trying to gather all the equipment necessary to put together a number of stations.

Chris (I'll just name him) was in charge of the tasting and temperature station. Chris is a very black and white kind of guy. If there is a rule, then there is a rule and don't go breaking it (just wish he would live by that all the time). For his station the kids were to taste sweet, bitter, sour and salty. He made the solutions and was using a Q-tip to apply the taste. Since it isn't fun to end with a bitter, salty or sour taste on your tongue, he also was in charge of sharing our very quick and easy treat: frosted graham crackers (YUM!). They were to get two squares and a bit of frosting and make a treat for themselves. But first, they were to ask their parent just in case there was some dietary reason they shouldn't be eating frosted graham crackers.

The other piece you need to know about is that instructions I gave to the parents before we broke up and went around to the different stations. I told them that my house was not baby proof so to please watch their children. I did my best, but I'm sure that I missed something. It would be wise if you walked around with your younger children and helped them in the stations as well as monitor their behavior. I personally didn't think I was asking too much.

There were probably six families in attendance and about 20 kids under 10 with another fix over 10 (my kids and my friends who said they would help my kids). They were perfectly behaved for their age and the parents followed them around and helped where needed, but for the most part my kids lead the stations. Now they didn't just do the experiment, but told the kids why what happened happened. (WOW! I must be a great teacher!!! They got it!!)

One of those parents was Susan (name changed) and her youngest son, Bob. Bob has many challenges in life, but none are visible. Bob was left alone for some time, but always in my eye sight. I saw him try to catch my puppy (the puppy went straight to his pen for his safety) and then pretty much ruin my oldest son's station (the oldest one doing this activity). Thankfully my son just dismissed him and let him play with the balloon (great job Mike--you handled him perfectly!). I'm not sure what happened with him in the living room, but I know Susan didn't go with him. I didn't hear anything break though--that as a good sign.

Then Bob went to Chris's station. He didn't want to do the tasting but didn't tell Chris this. He and his mom decided that they were going to have graham crackers and just took them. Chris told him he needed to do the station. As per our conversation before the kids came, Chris wanted the kids to do the station before filling their mouth with a spoon full of sweet frosting. He also wanted to make sure it was OK for him to have graham crackers. We know what it is like to have a child allergic to food and we didn't want to call 911 because someone didn't ask a simple question. He was very gentle with this kid and then Susan snapped at him. "When you have a child with needs you just go with it!" she yelled.

I turned to look what was going on and was shocked! She said it again. I very firmly told her, "Susan, you will speak kind words to my son." She then told me that her son had mental delays and that you just go with what they need, so something like that (not sure exactly because I was in shock!). Again, I firmly told her, "Susan, you will speak kind words to my son." I then looked at Chris who I could tell was biting back tears and as white as a ghost. His eyes were pleading with me, "Mom, I didn't do it, honest." I had to look away before the tears started as well.

I don't anyone but us has ever talked to him that way before. And this is the kid you don't do this to! I knew his heart was crushed. He lives for outwards approval and was getting it all day and then for Susan to crush him in such a harsh way.

She then tried to explain her actions to me, but I missed much of what she said because I was silently praying for direction because the momma bear in me was ready to rip heads off and spit out the bones! She quickly decided that she needed to leave. I didn't argue.

Now, I've interacted with this family on other occasions and this type of parenting is par for the course with this mother, but I was still in shock! I don't get it. You want your child to be treated as normal and then when that child is treated as such, you get angry? I just don't get it. Bob had nothing visible to tell my twelve year old boy he had a mental challenge. Susan didn't say anything to Chris that might have helped the situation before it turned ugly. She just yelled at my son when he was treated her son as he would any other kid in that room. You don't get crackers until after you have gone through the station. And I know Chris, he was doing it very gently. I had just watched him with the other children. He is so kind and gentle to other people's kids.

After she had left, I questioned my behavior and asked a few of the other moms there if I was out of line. They all conquered that I had behaved civilly and kindly (a first for me). Thankfully they all told Chris what a great job he did. AND HE DID! I was proud of all four of my kids. They really must have been listening when I presented this stuff because they did a FANTASTIC job in presenting their stations. They worked well with the kids and they taught the kids something fun and interesting about their bodies. They stepped up to the plate and hit a homerun!!!

After everyone had left, I spoke with Chris a little later and told him how proud I was of him for not running away or saying something hurtful in return. Later, I heard him crying and speaking to himself. I allow my kids to "yell at the mirror" if you will, when things don't go right. It helps them get the anger out and find words to their frustrations and emotions; kind of like punching a pillow instead of a sibling. I think he "yelled at the mirror" for a good 45 minutes. I heard him yell, "How was I supposed to know your child didn't know how to follow instructions. I didn't need to be yelled at. I was just doing my best. I'm just a kid myself!" Way to go Chris, you tell her!

Later that night an email came through and it was from her. I almost didn't want to read it, but I did. She sort of apologized but it was more of a long list of excuses as to why her son (and even her) acted that way they did. It was an alphabet soup of what is wrong with him and how the are in "therapy" to help deal with him. That was all nice and everything but not once in the email did she tell me to tell Chris she was sorry. NOT ONCE DID SHE TELL CHRIS SHE WAS SORRY!!!!! This was as close as she got, "Nevertheless, I should have done a better job explaining ____'s differences. Again, I apologize for being impatient with a little boy." (I wonder what "little boy" she meant.)

Like my title for this blog post; "I'm so proud of you, son!" Chris you're my rock star!

My Daughter's Homework Assignment

What My Mom's Cancer has Taught Me.
by Jessie

My mom's cancer has taught me that sometimes life can suck. My mom is going through a lot of pain. Cancer hurts my feelings and hurts other people's feelings. Cancer sucks sometimes. Cancer puts you at the verge of death. Cancer is very scary. Cancer hurts feelings and breaks people's hearts. And that breaks my heart and mades me sad.

One more in the nest

Doreen, Steve, Mike & Chad

Mike & Grant

Joining the Ranks!

Mom gets her pin!

We are sooooo HAPPY!

ONE PROUD MOM!

I haven't held many jobs in my life and quite frankly they have all been pretty great jobs. The only job that I absolutely hated was being a janitor at

BYU

my first

semester

. Thankfully I had a professor who saw it and quickly got me out of there! I had another job that wasn't so great, but since I didn't "have" to have it, I walked away. But there is one job that takes the cake in both positive and negative. Well, it really isn't negative, it is more frustrating! That is being a MOM!

I love it! Love it! Love it! Especially when it is going great! But this week has been awesome even with all I've been going through.

Last Saturday April 17, I told the kids that since I was starting chemotherapy our house had to be cleaned. Not only because I was going to be sick, but because people would be coming over and we needed to clean it up. I went for my usual team run in the morning and when I got home at 11 the kids had each of their rooms picked up and were ready for the common areas. With

every one's

--

EVERY ONE'S

--help we were done top to bottom, side to side by 1! Some even stopped to eat!!! I cried! For the most part we all got along and my house was wonderful! Jessie even helped me in my own bathroom (how come mine is always so dirty?).

Then I had surgery on Monday and the kids were great! They helped with soccer practices and dinner and everything! Tuesday I had chemo and they did another great job in getting kids to soccer practices etc. Of course they needed reminders about cleaning up their jobs, but they didn't complain and got them done.

Wednesday, Thursday and even today, they willingly got in and got their jobs done and most did more than they were asked. I can't believe it! What great kids I have.

Steve has been very busy at work and worrying about me and I've been down with chemo effects, so the kids had to pick up even more. They are just awesome! I love them.

And to top it off TONIGHT SON #3 GETS AWARDED HIS EAGLE SCOUT AWARD!

I am one proud MOM!

Today I proudly wear the title of mom to

Jessie, Chris, Matt, Mike, Jason &

Kray

!

Hey, kids, I love you!

YOU ARE GREAT!

PS: I'll post pictures of my kids after tonight's court of honor.

The Wish of My Heart

A very popular verse among missionaries is found in Alma 29. "Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart,"

Of course the rest of the verse is the what Alma wishes he could do: cry repentance unto every one.

But what is my one wish?

My one wish is this that my children will hold to the Iron Rod and follow it into the Temple of the Lord with a righteous mate who will make them the most happy person in the world. I know what great happiness comes when one does just that. I know what joy comes from being with the love of your life. I know great no other great joy and happiness.

We are told that if we desire something hard enough we will move heaven and earth to make it happen. That is great assuming as it is something we have control over. Of course I do not have control over my children's agency, but I truly desire that they all be in attendance in heaven. I do not want one of them to be missing.

If that is my true one wish of my heart then I will do what I need to do. I will continue to do as Elder Bednar says and be consistent with family scripture study and family home evening. I will be consistent with not allowing filth and ugliness in my home. I will set guards around to keep the evil out. I will move heaven and earth for my one wish.

Oh, that I were an angel and could have the wish of my heart. I truly wish that my children will never release the Iron Rod and that it will take them to the Temple so that the chain may be lengthened and strengthened. I truly wish that the sealing power of heaven will bind this family forever.

Oh how they grow

On the first day at Long Beach, we went out to breakfast and while we were waiting for our table I took Matt, Chris and Jessie outside to wiggle off some energy. I rememberd a photo from long ago that had my three kids in the "frying pan" at Long Beach. I decided to put them back in it. WOW! they sure do grow up fast.

2002

2009

FUNNY KIDS!

Oh, what do you do in the springtime

When all the world is WHITE?

Do you watch the snow fall?

Or make a snow ball?

Or in the hot tub to stay?

Is that what you do?

So do they?

Today, March 9, 2009, it snowed a couple of inches at our house. Of course the kids just had to have fun in it. So in the hot tub two went and the other decided a snow alien was in order. The snow fall didn't last too long, but long enough to be enjoyed.

Today the sun has popped out (in fact it is shining on my computer screen right now--but I refuse to close the blinds). It has hailed, pretty big pebbles. It has snowed, blizzard like. It has rained. I think the only thing we haven't had yet is thunder, but the day isn't over and we did hear some on Saturday.

Now I just hope Steve doesn't have an extra long commute because every one panicked.

I'm bored!

My daughter is constantly telling me she is bored. I try to remind her that she is human, but she just rolls her eyes at me.

One day, I told her to find something to do and she did this:

If you can't see it very well, I'll tell you that it is a mermaid made out of modeling clay.

Still Snowing on Christmas Day

We dreamt it and we got it!

Today is Christmas Day! YEAH for Santa!

We had a lovely Christmas Eve program. The younger children acted out the Nativity while the older kids sat and snickered. Jessie was Mary, of course, Matt was a wiseman/ninga, Chris as the Shepherd and Mike was Joseph.

Steve read "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" our favorite Christmas story.

We then went into the living room where those who wanted played Christmas songs. I wish I could remember them all, but they all had at least two songs to play for us. Kray has a totally awesome version of Carol of the Bells that he has worked out on his guitar but refused to play it. (Got to love teenagers-NOT!) In fact Jason has added a drum beat to it in the back and Mike has added a bass line as well. It is pretty awesome. Maybe one time I will get a video of it--oh, wait, can't our video recorder broke in 2005 and still hasn't been replaced.

We then watched a movie and sent the kids to bed.

With younger children it was up and at 'em bright and early--too early. My alarm went off at 6AM---DON'T YOU KNOW IT IS A HOLIDAY KIDS! Of course we don't have to wake anyone up on Christmas morning, but come a seminary morning....

Santa found his way here. He must have had blind eyes this year because our kids sure weren't good enough to receive what they received. Santa left behind lots of goodies in their stocking and a Wii for the family. The other big present was Steve got a new computer and is in the process of setting up his old one for the kids. It has been a huge battle all year with one computer for six kids. Especially when their is a virus on the kids' computer and it has to be taken down for days at a time. Hopefully this will stop all that mess! Of course this meant that I had to find a place for it in our already crowded school room. I need another six feet in this room! We can't put it in a non puplic room so that meant I had to give up a craft desk in my sewing room. I can just see it now--my sewing room trashed or even worse something in it gets broken. But in the mean time, I had to clear the desk, move it from the corner and basically rearrange the whole room. Hopefully this will be worth it becuase it sure is a pain! Like I said, I'm not sure our kids have been good enough for this--Santa sure wasn't paying close enough attention to their behavior.

My tree:

Playing with some photo editing software (no, I didn't get that for Christmas, just playing around).

Some Good Stuff

The other day my six year old daughter came into my room just after putting her down for bed with the February 2007 issue of the Ensign. It was crumpled and looked well read. She handed it to me and said, "Mom, I think you need this issue. It has some good stuff in it." She started to walk out and then turned around and said, "It has really helped me and I think it will help you."

I think she is right!

Yellow Flowers

Across the street at our old house was a house with a yard full of dandelions. With permission from the owner, my children use to pick all the "yellow flowers" their little hands could hold. I have always told them I love those "yellow flowers" so bring me every one you find. I just never tell them it is weeding.

Today while waiting for her brothers to be finished with art class, Jessie was playing in the local schools play ground and parking lot. She noticed a bunch of "yellow flowers" and proceeded to pick them for me (and her). Before I knew what she was doing she was at the van window with a dozen daffodils, "Mom, look yellow flowers for you."

They look very pretty on my kitchen counter in a mason jar filled with water, but I do have to say the prettiest thing was the smile on a little girl in her ballet outfit peeking out behind a fist full of "yellow flowers." I sure hope the school doesn't notice them gone and will excuse a little girl making her mother happy.

Doreen

Four pounds of Love

When I was growing up our home was never without at least one dog. My favorite of all the dogs was the dog my brother, Scott, got for me. He bought my little brother and I each a "Boarder Collie." I got the female dog and my little brother, Mike, got the male dog. I don't recall what we named Mike's dog, but my dog was named Kyo, as in the last part of the city Tokyo. Our whole family loved that dog. Once she grew out of her puppy stage, I don't recall her ever barking. Unlike most of the dogs we owned she was an inside dog. We bred her and she had puppies. I still remember those cute little puppies. I left for college and Kyo was still there when I came home. In fact she came to visit me with my mom when she came just after the birth of my firstborn. But that following summer I received terrible news. Kyo was hit by a car and didn't live. She must have been 16 or 17 years old and had horrible hearing and was very slow. I didn't think I would cry when this dog was gone, but I did, I actually sobbed. I don't think I cried over a pet since the time I stepped on a kitten and killed her. (That's an awful story for another day, but it was totally an accident.)

Dogs have always been part of my life, until Kyo was gone. She wasn't with me at college because of course you don't have pets there. Then we moved and were living in apartments and didn't have the money nor the yard for a dog. Our ever growing family moved into a house and I didn't have the energy for a dog and I didn't want "one more thing" to take care of.

Then we were done having children. Jessie, my youngest, was potty trained and life was great. Then we discovered we had animal dander allergies. Well, there went my idea of getting a dog. But worse than that was the constant rain here. How could I leave a dog outside in the constant drizzle. He would always be muddy, never allowed in the house, forever ruining the yard and just making life difficult. I didn't relish the thought of cleaning up the yard to go outside and play. I just wanted to kick the kids outside and say, "Don't come in until the sun goes down."

But the nagging feeling of needing and wanting a dog was still with me. I started doing research on dogs and allergies. There were dogs that didn't shed and therefore the allergies that humans have towards animal dander is no longer a problem. Then I did research on what kind of dogs don't shed. There were a few breeds out there that I liked. All were mostly toy dogs which helped eliminate my problem with them being left out in the cold rain 9 months out of the year. I had decided that a Yorkshire Terrier was the type of dog we would get.

Now came the hard part, convincing my "We will never have a dog" husband. My children had no problem with this idea, although they would have liked a bigger dog. My daughter was all for it. All the glamour shots of a Yorkie have them beautifully groomed with bows and very long hair. Talk about a princess type dog. But, Steve was a different story. I had done all the research and all I had to do was show him and then have him write the check. I set up an appointment and we just went to "window shop." Well, we came home with "Alexander the Great" a 10 week old Yorkshire Terrier. He fit in the palm of my husband's hand and was scared to death, but he must have melted my husband's heart while at the breeders.

He was named by Steve because, "he has delusions of grandeur" just like his name sake. It is also fitting that his name is longer than he is. Full grown he might weigh five pounds!

After having him for a year, we cannot see our family without him. Just recently we had to leave him with a dog sitter while we went to Big White. It was so hard to say goodbye and then each night know that he wasn't going to jump onto our bed and sleep with us. He truly is a member of our family.

Here are some of the things he does.

If we leave him home, he waits for us on the back of the living room couch where he can keep watch out the window for the van to drive up. He will even be there when just I am gone.

If Steve is downstairs and I'm upstairs in bed, he will wait at the top of the stairs until Steve comes up for bed. He will even wait there with his ball because the nightly routine is to play fetch a few times before curling up for the evening.

He does the army crawl when he is especially happy.

He loves to dance and jump.

He loves to chase the bunnies off the front yard.

I'm his favorite person, of course.

He loves to ride in the car.

He loves to think he is a guard dog and barks when the door bell rings or the garage door goes up.

He loves each of us and his favorite thing to do is find a warm soft lap and take a nap.

He is truly a GREAT dog!

Other pictures of Alex can be found

http://www.waldsfe.org/scouting/Merit%20badges/dogcare.htm

Doreen