12. I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice.
What is the difference between compassion and pity? I know the difference, but not how to explain it. Wikipedia says that pity is:
"Pity evokes a tender or sometimes slightly contemptuous sorrow or empathy for people, a person, or an animal in misery, pain, or distress. In regard to humans, a protective or quasi-paternal feeling of pity may be felt towards marginalized or impoverished people such as homeless families; orphans; people with disabilities or terminal illness, and victims of rape and torture. People who have previously experienced the pain or misfortune in question may feel greater pity. Because pity will often result in the pitier aiding the pitied, some people equate pity with sympathy and assume, therefore, that pity is naturally a positive thing. However, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that pity causes an otherwise normal person to feel his or her own suffering in an inappropriately intense, alienated way. "Pity makes suffering contagious,"[1] he says in The Antichrist, meaning that it is important for the pitier not to allow him/herself to feel superior to the pitied, lest such a power imbalance result in the pitied retaliating against the help being offered."
It says compassion is:
"is a human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms, the various expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others what you would have them do to you." (from Wikipedia)
I will invite you to my pity parties but please don't invite me to yours on my behalf. I would rather you invite me to the HopeFULL parties.
I would rather have your comfort, your arms (cyber too) around my shoulder, your hand picking my chin up, you smile spreading from ear to ear, than your advice on how to cure my cancer. I have read tons of books, searched thousands of websites, talked to countless doctors, patients and caregivers. I have more advice than I will ever need. Please don't give me advice. I just need your comfort, your love, your care.
What is the difference between compassion and pity? I know the difference, but not how to explain it. Wikipedia says that pity is:
"Pity evokes a tender or sometimes slightly contemptuous sorrow or empathy for people, a person, or an animal in misery, pain, or distress. In regard to humans, a protective or quasi-paternal feeling of pity may be felt towards marginalized or impoverished people such as homeless families; orphans; people with disabilities or terminal illness, and victims of rape and torture. People who have previously experienced the pain or misfortune in question may feel greater pity. Because pity will often result in the pitier aiding the pitied, some people equate pity with sympathy and assume, therefore, that pity is naturally a positive thing. However, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that pity causes an otherwise normal person to feel his or her own suffering in an inappropriately intense, alienated way. "Pity makes suffering contagious,"[1] he says in The Antichrist, meaning that it is important for the pitier not to allow him/herself to feel superior to the pitied, lest such a power imbalance result in the pitied retaliating against the help being offered."
It says compassion is:
"is a human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms, the various expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others what you would have them do to you." (from Wikipedia)
I will invite you to my pity parties but please don't invite me to yours on my behalf. I would rather you invite me to the HopeFULL parties.
I would rather have your comfort, your arms (cyber too) around my shoulder, your hand picking my chin up, you smile spreading from ear to ear, than your advice on how to cure my cancer. I have read tons of books, searched thousands of websites, talked to countless doctors, patients and caregivers. I have more advice than I will ever need. Please don't give me advice. I just need your comfort, your love, your care.