4. I like to hear success stories, not horror stories.
This seems obvious to me, but not to the people who talk to me. I already know how precious life can be. I was there when a doctor said, "You have a mass on T12" and that was horrifying. The only thing left to say to me that is more horrifying is "you're dead," and since I will be dead I'm not sure I will hear it anyway.
Here is a secret about cancer patients. They hear this, "Blah, blah, blah, you have cancer, blah, blah, blah, and you are going to die, blah, blah, blah." Even when the doctor said, "We found a mass of cells in ________ organ and we will have to treat them with radiation and chemotherapy. We expect that you will survive this to live another 20 years." We only hear, "You are going to die because you have cancer." That is the first appointment.
So when you tell us about your Aunt Mildred or your cousin Fred who died a horrible death from cancer we only hear, "There is no hope, you are doomed!" Instead try telling us how strong we are or better yet, let's talk about our kids, a great vacation spot or the latest sporting event. Just never tell us the horror stories of cancer; they don't help us heal only frighten us.
This seems obvious to me, but not to the people who talk to me. I already know how precious life can be. I was there when a doctor said, "You have a mass on T12" and that was horrifying. The only thing left to say to me that is more horrifying is "you're dead," and since I will be dead I'm not sure I will hear it anyway.
Here is a secret about cancer patients. They hear this, "Blah, blah, blah, you have cancer, blah, blah, blah, and you are going to die, blah, blah, blah." Even when the doctor said, "We found a mass of cells in ________ organ and we will have to treat them with radiation and chemotherapy. We expect that you will survive this to live another 20 years." We only hear, "You are going to die because you have cancer." That is the first appointment.
So when you tell us about your Aunt Mildred or your cousin Fred who died a horrible death from cancer we only hear, "There is no hope, you are doomed!" Instead try telling us how strong we are or better yet, let's talk about our kids, a great vacation spot or the latest sporting event. Just never tell us the horror stories of cancer; they don't help us heal only frighten us.