...she would make it all better.

I'm not a fan of Mother's Day. Never have been and maybe someday I'll feel comfortable. When I was a young girl I loved giving my mom my homemade gifts. I thought she really loved them. I know better know--she treasured them. Being a homeschooling mom, my kids can't surprise me with school-made gifts cuz I'm the teacher. Oh, well. I get a love note on my pillow every now and then and a hug around my middle and that is even better. I would call my mom and she would make it all better.

Then I became a teenager and couldn't stand my mom. She was always judging me and telling me how to live my life. I think Bon Jovi song, "It's my life" was my battle cry as a teen. Boy did I have a lot of begging for mercy to do 10 years later. I just hope my mom forgave me. I loved her and secretly was listening to all those lectures she gave me. I'm not sure how they all sank in, but they did and I turned out ok. I eventually say "sorry" and she would make it all better.

Then I got married and having children looked pretty bleak. Yes, believe it or not, I experienced some difficulties getting pregnant and ended up on fertility drugs. But I remember those first Mother's Day when my arms were empty and all I had was a promise from a few blessings given to me. My heart ached and I wanted nothing to do with Mother's Day except call my mom, say I'm sorry and go to bed and cry myself to sleep. But I would call my mom and she would make it all better.

Then I had that little "bundle of joy" in my arms on Mother's Day. It wasn't at all what I pictured. No magic day with all my jobs covered, house scrubbed and glistening. I still had to do all the mom things I had done the day before and would do the day after. But my heart always ached for those few in my ward whose arms were empty, houses were just as they left them when they went to bed and whose kitchens didn't have crumbs all over. But I would call my mom and she would make it all better.

Now I can't call her.

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I miss you mom! I wish I could call you, because I know you would make it all better. You always did.