Today is my mom's birthday.
She isn't here to take my phone call, open my card or blow out her candles. She is probably so busy in heaven she doesn't even know that she is 75 today. She is in her 29 year old spirit teaching, preaching and loving those who need love. Her knees work, her mind works and she is having the best birthday ever.
My birthday letter to my mom,
There is no word known to man that can express the hole in my heart. I miss you so very much. I miss knowing that within nine digits on a phone I can hear your voice. That sweet voice that never once had the tone of, "OK, what is it now my silly daughter. You know you have interrupted me." Instead it was a cheerful, "Hello" in the tone of "you are the most important person in the world and let my meal burn!"
I miss your motherly advice, and boy do I need it know. But I know what you would tell me anyway--PRAY! You would say, "Pray, my darling, and He will help you." You are right, He will, but it still sounds so much better when you say it. And of course it humbles me enough to go and do.
I miss knowing that when I take Kray in the next week or so to visit one of the Dr. Ostlers I can stop by, just for a moment and see your smiling face. Instead I will only go and place a rose on your grave. I will smile and know that you love me and think I'm silly for wasting money on a rose that will die. But I can't hug you so you will just have to take the rose.
Tonight we celebrated your birthday and we tried very hard not to cry--but it was hard--VERY HARD. We each wrote something to you on a piece of paper and let it go. We could only watch them for a few feet because it gets dark so fast in January. We love you mom!
Oh, and on your cake, I put the number 29 because I know that's what you would have wanted and you would have laughed at it. I couldn't find enough letters to spell "Older than dirt" so I got the numbers 29. I might just have to use them in 8 months on my birthday cake.
I love you to pieces mom and miss you every day.